Tuesday, 30 September 2008

Kini Big Deal?

What is the whole big deal about that 'special' three lettered word? Yeah, I'm talking about SEX. I remember we've had a number of discussions about sex this sex that in school, I don't mean education wise, I mean as a bunch of jobless teens gisting eachother about who fucked who over the weekend, can you imagine? There was this one time, I was in year 11 I think so I guess I was like 15 then, a group of us were in biology class, meant to be discussing about photosynthesis, but instead we dey yarn about gbenshing. The question 'When will you lose your virginity?' came up, majority were like 'I've already lost mine', some were like 'ooh I dunno, It will happen when it happens', one person was like 'When I'm married', that person was me. They were shocked, I dunno why, but they were, questions like 'Ooh, will you be able to wait?', 'Are you mad?' got thrown at my blockhead, another question, 'What if you don't get married?', I was getting a bit irritated so I decided to be 'funny' whilst answering that yeye question, I was like 'I will hire a male prostitute', abeg, kini big deal touri oloun? Plus, my highscool is a catholic school so shouldn't everyone be waiting till marriage? Na real wa o.

One girl I know, lost her virginity to a guy she met on myspace, like wtf? So yaba was on strike that day abi? Pure nonsense. Even church kids, I used to think were so innocent, so pure, some of them are stinkingly filthy when it comes to such areas, especially the pastor's sons. There was one place majority of the youth would visit everyyear, it was a church thing and it was called 'cross fire', youths from different branches and different churches would all travel out without their parents for say a week in order to get closer to God, for me, it was a wonderful experience, I spoke in tongue's for the first time, i felt refreshed. Na the yeye teens who suppose come for deliverance would be busy fucking each other's brain's out in rooms, no respect at all. The whole thing has been stopped sha, last time the event took place was like 3 years ago I think, good memories.

I remember when I was really small sha, at least 11 years of age, there was one day I felt very sick in school so I was taken to the medical room to rest. Later on a few other pupil's also came to the medical room, much older than me sha, it was obvious that they weren't ill at all, probably bunking a maths lesson or something. Anyways sha, they were doing their 'big girl' gist about boys, sex etc I was just shaking my small head because I no suppose hear this kain thing, I be small pikin na. One girl in particular, she was talking about the size of penis' and how the bigger the more satisfying, ehn? Kilon soro? These girls could not have been pass the age of 15, chai, this world ehn.

Another discussion I had, I brought up the fact that I will not have sex until I'm married, I was told that I am very selfish. Selfish ke? Did I hear you right? Who's body is it, or maybe I am missing something, na so body no be wood i dey hear but still, if you be my boyfriend just go an find a quiet place to masturbate or something because you aint getting none of this *points at crotch*, but if you be my man, as in we dey marry proper, meehn, we go gbensh anywhere and anytime you want and very well at that, hehehehehe. And all this talk by boys who keep yarning trash saying that they MUST fuck their girlfriend's before marriage in order to 'know her better' etc etc, please, go and tell that to the mosquitoes because you don yarn poo, a very stinking one for that matter, *holds nose in air* as a nairalander once said, 'I no dey hear of anyone being rushed to the hospital due to lack of sex', please open your ears wide and zip up well because sex no be oxygen, If she says yes, that's cool, If she says no, also cool, this goes up to both boys and girls sha abeg, kini big deal?

Just landed in school, should have been here at least an hour ago but the damn buses seemed to be having a special meeting today in which they forgot about us poor carless civillians, woe is me. I stood at the bus stop for almost 3 years, ok I'm exagerating, atleast 45 minutes I was standing there, I usually wait for buses for at most 10 minutes so I was not too happy. There were like 25 people waiting for the bus sha, we waited for like 20 minutes and then a bus came, realising how crowded the place was I was flung myself to the front to make sure I had a chance of getting onto the n#bus, even if I had to barge, every man for him self, waste of time sha, the bus was 'packed' so the bus driver just drove on. What really annoyed me was the fact that there was space in the bus, just that people were not moving to the back in order to create more space, a bit selfish of them but there you go.

Next bus came in another 25 minutes, finally, got on, yay I got a seat so my mood was lifted a tiny bit, but then one fat sweaty man came and plonked himself right in front of me, sweet Lord the stench was horrific, so I just lifted myself from my seat and moved away, that's what we call opportunity cost, I had to sacrifice my comfort of sitting down in order to prevent a premature death, wise choice I made because I have a family back home and what would become of them if anything bad was to happen to me? Life is only lived once, that odour was killing.

Anyway sha, got onto my next bus, gosh I'm late, I sit down, I'm so tired, then one morbidly obese, breast drooping, dirty looking woman comes and seats herself next to me. You've got to be kidding me, was this planned? Her smell was even more atrocious than the previous mans, whatever happened to baths? From what I know they are still legal so kini problem? Plus it's morning, which kain 'exercise' must she have done so early in the morning that could make her stink as bad as this? Naah mate, this one was a hot blow to the nostrils, wham!

I try to cover my nose with my scarf, nah, the material is not strong enough to withold the foul odour, it's like a battle between the cotton and the fat woman's body odour, K.O! It's a knocknout, the wooly scarf is beaten, poor thing, we had such good times together, it really is a tragedy. I really could not take the smell anymore so I just got off the bus, even though it is not my stop, I walk, another opportunity cost, funny enough I only have one lesson today and it's economics.

Anyway, I just thank God that I made it out alive because if not for his Grace ehn! Oma Seun.

One particular person has reeeeaaaalllly been getting on my nerves lately, I'm actually fed up.

I really feel like some Chinese Food.

Monday, 29 September 2008

Burnt Toast

Hmmm, just got back from school now. Oh what a day, stale as usual, but what can I do? I just give thanks to God almighty that I am still alive and well. Tummy has been hurting since morning, mr red came for his usual monthly day visit, urrgh, lucky me. Was sitting on the bus, at the back, minding my own, one guy comes and sits in front of me, he is staring, i turn my head to the window, he keeps staring, ok o, now he is staring at my blouse, maybe he justs likes my top, I can tell him where I got it from if he likes, this guys is still staring at me o and It's making me uncomfortable. Suddenly he changes seats and comes and sits next to me, sigh of releif, at least now he isn't all up in my face. So the bus is moving, vrrmmm vrrmmm vrrmmm and then the guy taps me, i turn, he's like 'excuse me, you look worried', I'm like 'huh'? again, 'you look worried, is everything ok'? I smile to be polite, 'oh, I'm ok thankyou' then I start giggling, he's like 'blah blah blah', then he asks for my name. I tell him, 'ahhh, so you are nigerian', I'm like 'yeah', apparently he is also nigerian, ok. Anyways sha, it was the usual toasting, name, number etc etc, he asked me to meet him at 7pm today, I was like 'are you serious? oh no, I have to study' (big lie), he starts begging saying 'please try etc', awww, sorry o, i need to study o, he's been calling ever since. Why did I give him my number sha, see my head.



Penguins and Porn

On the way to school today, whilst on the tram, I was eavesdroppings, no, overheard a boy’s conversation on the phone, I had left my phone at home and my ipod is broken again so I had no music to accompany myself with, that’s why, hehehehehe. He asked one question like ‘why do girl’s run like penguins?’ to the person he was yarning with. Do we?

I’m currently in my free period, just chillaxin though I know I should be reading a textbook or something, gimme a break jo. Anyways sha, I’m seated next to one strange strange girl, I think she’s like a foreign exchange student or something, nice but strange. I came across a magazine, fashion magazine, just flipping the pages innocently when I come across a page with these naked people, the picture looks very sexual, boobs all up in your face, this is a fashion magazine for goodness sake, pictures like these are meant to be tasteful, beautiful, the human body is beautiful when taken care of properly but this just looks like porn. The FES kid (Foreign Exchange Student) is like ‘let me see the breast’ in one freeeesssshhhh togo accent and grabs the magazine out of my hand like a mad man, speedy gonzalez don land o, imagine. She then flipped through the pages so fast I swear to God smoke was forming from the pages, you need to have seen the expressions on my friends and I’s faces, kai.

I’m going to the Old Bailey on Thursday, get to see really interesting court cases, not all those little petty shoplifting cases, I’m talking about murder etc, fun fun fun, not that murder is fun o.


Have you ever wondered who is behind that voice on those nollywood trailers? that really weird deep voice.

Saturday, 27 September 2008

All for a boy?

I no dey mention one time where my good paddy had to get braces on her teeth all because of a boy, can you imagine? We dey for Germany together, we be small pikins then. All of us just dey play in the park, minding our own business, oyinbo comes to talk to us, your average red haired freckle faced oyinbo who has an obsession with Eminem. He kept singing 'my bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips
and if I'm lucky you might just give it a little kiss' one yeye lyrics from the song 'The real slim shady', he was a nice boy, I just though he was weird. He liked both of us he said, I was not feeling oyinbo o, but my paddy dey fall for him, though she never told him, na them sabi.

Anyways sha, I think it was either a day after or some days later we were in the swimming pool, my paddy and I with a few other friends, oyinbos we had just met also included. We are all swimming, enjoying ourselves when suddenly we see that enimem boy, can't even remember his name sha. My paddy who likes him starts to get all smiley and embarassed, fanning herself, you know how some girls get na, I was like, 'are you not ashamed of yourself?'.

One oyinbo girl we had befriended some days before also sees him and wants to call him over and tell him that my paddy gbadun for him. My paddy is so scared and embarassed that she flings herself out of the pool and runs in the direction if the showers, oh no, there is soap on the floor, plenty soap o, so she slips, no fly's, like superman, does one matrix move and then bangs her jaw onto the hard concrete floor causing impact on her teeth, ouch. I see blood o, awww, paddy mii, how are you? sorry o, she is crying, everyone comes to look, to hug, anyways sha, to cut a long story short she ended up having to go to the dentist the next day to get all sorts of injections and whatnot, another ouch, then orthodontist to get braces, chai, i felt for her that day.

Went to church yesterday night, 'Dominion Hour' it's called, every last friday of the month all branches get together and praaiissee. Really enjoy praise and worship, there is this particular song they sing, seasoned with Yoruba, always start grinning whenever the choir start singing it and then i get into the groooooove, hope that didn't sound too corny.

When I was younger, I used to just chill at the back with the rest of my agemates, we would just be gossiping whilst evening service was going on, and then we heard the footsteps or saw one particular aunty we would run into the toilets and hide hehehehe, she was an usher, she's really nice but can be strict when she wants to be. Her name is aunty Nike, every child in the church knows that name, there are even many aunty Nike's in the church but she is the main yam, like the sargent aunty, that aunty who will twist your ear or move you from your seat if you are caught talking and/or messing aroud during service. The younger kids I'm talking about, back in the day memories, though she still does it, just that I'm 'too old' now to be messing around especially during service, people have expectations of me ya naw, plus am one of many the pastor's daughters hehehehe.

I remember one time actually, we were all gossipin at the back as usual, a whole bunch of us when we heard the signal, aunty Nike don land o. If you see the way we all just dispersed like birds, we were used to it so I guess you get say we were experts hehehe. Anyways sha, my own safety target for that day would be the girls toilet next to the kitchen, not suprisingly, others were headed for the same place and not only just girls, boys also, I said the gils toilet o. So there were like 7 of us, both males and females squashed in one small toilet. Then we heard a knock, someone wanted to use the toilet, how convenient, we could tell it was not aunty Nike by the voice, but we were still in some shit. One aunty we all knew, she could also be 'not so nice' when she felt like it, plus she knows my mummy, eh eh. We were all like 'oh crap', 'eyah', 'we are finished o' with hands on our heads you know, the usual, we still all managed to giggle at the same time, silently of course, it was funny na. I was the one to speak up, I was like, 'I'm coming aunty, I'm on my period so I might take long' that was a hot lie, the hottest lie lol. That day, I witnessed a miracle o, we heard the aunty go out quickly into the kitchen, we all then burst of all the toilet like flies and flung ourselves into another room, hehehehe, we had escaped, that was a close call o, what would she have said if she had seen all 7 of us in there, plus we were accompanied by boys, wetin concern boys for girls toilet ehn? Na real wa o.


I cleaned fish for the first time yesterday, my mum called it a 'favor' because she was cooking it for us and one uncle, I have never shivered so much in my life. Then I had to season it, I made my mum do the fish heads for me, no way was I touching that, swear down one of the heads still had the eye and winked at me, roflmao. Don't get me wrong, I do cook, sooommmeeetttiiimmmeeesss, just never done fish, cept for the ones you get from sainsbury's, wait, those oh fish fingers, my bad.

Thursday, 25 September 2008

Annoying Librarians

The librarian in my school is so annoying, she loves to pick on people for no reason plus she sends you out for the most stupidest reasons. That's the thing with most librarians, you either like them or hate them. If somebody else is talking she will blame you, if you are talking she will blame somebody else, that woman no well o. We call her the mermaid because her hair is beautiful, golden and long but she looks like she should retire, very old and wrinkly. I've had my few misunderstandings with her, the best thing to do is ignore her, she will talk to you as if you a peaice of shit on the floor, yeah, she's like 500 years older than us but respect is given when respect is due. She's like 'excuse me, excuse me' in this really olden day posh accent, like a witch, gosh she's so annoying. She loves to ban people from the library as well, oh please, sargent mumu.

Actually currently staring at her whilst typing this, I'm in the library, hehehehehehe.

Wednesday, 24 September 2008

I find it so funny when people play music out loud on their phone when they are alone, especially on the bus, are they ok? You will even see some people rapping to themselves, I'm not talking about soft under the breath ryhming, oh no, I mean proper hardcore shouting, grinding teeth together like no man's business, what happened to sanity? ehn? On the bus today, after dropping my little sister off at Wimbledon centre court, got on to the bus, had a nice newspaper I wanted to enjoy, there are these group of 'badboi' asians seated at the back where the 'cool' people sit, yeah right. Anyways sha, they start blazing music into the atmosphere, nawa o, you are not even allowed to play music out loud on public transport and it's not even normal music, it's this Indian type music and all the passengers on the top deck are looking back, they no grab message? Not that I don't like Indian music, it just was not the time or the place, imagine.

Hmmmm, I smell plantain! Iya mii, issh dat yuuuuu?

Gosh it's so cold and my throat is killing me, I can't even swallow properly meaning that I can't eat properly, what kain nonsense be this? I must eat o! Oya, pass me the yam jor!

Actually missing a certain person like crazy, havent spoken to this person in aaaaaaggggggeeeeeessssss, it's not even a case of miss sha, it's a case of yearning, sigh.

Really loff this song.

Tuesday, 23 September 2008

Currently getting high off green apples...*chomp chomp chomp*

Sunday, 21 September 2008

Naija Musicals


Hiyana One (Hausa)

Mmiri Maram (Igbo)

Ebee Ka Ijere (Igbo)

Mummy Dearest

Mummy I love you jare! LOL!

Was watching one Nollywood film with my mum and siblings, 'Yahoo Millionaire' I think it's called. Them she started some discussion about Nigerian men etc and how I should not marry any poor man in general. I was like mummy, ah ahn, that's not fair now, what if the guy is reaaaaalllllllllllyyyyyyyyyy handsome, then she went into her whole typical African mode. "Will you eat the handsome?" she said. I fell of the chair and started laughing. I then asked her ok mum, if you had the chance to marry a poor handsome man or a rich ugly man which one would she choose, she then said that she would probably go for the ugly rich man because the money can be used for plastic surgery and all sorts of modification on his wowor face and then she burst out laughing, we all did, mummy, is this you talking like this? Imagine!

Imagine at my age, I have just gone and stolen chicken from the cooking pan, hehehehe, touch and fooolllooowww.

I will now indulge and enjoy. *Grinning*

Birthday Outing

"Your tongue needs to be seasoned with grace"

Roflmao quote of the day! My mum said that to me after I called me brother 'Coconut Head', oops.

Went to a friend's 18th yesterday, Adeola and I, trust us to arrive late, but we got there in the end and that's all that matters. When we got there there were about 20 people around this long table stacked with food, yum yum yum. Birthday girl was very happy to see us. Anyways sha, we ordered our food eventually and than starting yamming down, everyone was chit chatting away, met some new people too. Majority of people there were Nigerians and like one or two Ghanaians, you know how it is when Naija peeps and Ghana peeps get togerra, just cracking jokes, hahahaha, there was this one guy, I think his name was Ola, he was so funny. First time I saw him there was when his eyes were glued to the plate filled with cake as we were passing it around, imagine. Saw one guy there, omg, he looked like a cross between Chidi Mokeme and one guy in my church, he ahd the height too, I was like, woooow. Saw one childhood friend there also, we'll call him O, he is a cousin to the birthday girl.

Mehhn, O don change for real o. The last time I saw him was when he came to my house some months ago, I said he had changed then but I still can't get over it and that's why I'm still saying it now. Changed in the sense that back in the days he used to be one lanky neek, like, skinny boy in the corner, that sort of guy. But now, not only has he grown in height, but in head, his head don swell o, the guy loives himself too much. He's a nice guy but it was just a bit shocking. He has even started wearing earrings, not even just one, but two, one on each ear, oh gosh lol. Even the way he was talking, like he was 'big boy', you grab? Hehehehehe, he's a 'cool' guy now, 'ladies man', just that the head don swell pass anything, chai.

I remember, the time he came to my house, coincidentally Adeola was there with me also. We were just reminiscing, you know, gisting, but every interesting topic we were talking about would suddenly turn to something about him, ooh I did this, I did that, I can't remember how many times I rolled my eyes that day. He made me come and sit next to him so that he could show me his pictures and so forth, me being the 'polite' girl that I am, obliged, trying to act as if I was interested. He also kept making comments about if he had know that I would be at home, he would have worn something more better, ooh my Gucci belt, ooh, my Versace this, diamonds this, diamonds that, ok o. He said he would buy me baby phat jeans when he goes to America, I just smiled, baby phat ko, baby skinny ni. He even had the nerve to insult my phone lol, I shocked because I had really liked my phone at the time and it had actully literally just come out, na him sabi jare lol. I guess he means no harm abi?

What time did I get home sha?

Friday, 19 September 2008

Cigarette Please?

A few days ago I was walking to a lesson of mine, when one of my friends approched me and asked me if I had a cigarette, excuse me? did i hear you right? I stared at her for about 10 seconds with one 'are you talking to me?' kind of look before answering her, I even turned my head just incase she was talking to somebody behind me and not me, my response reeked of sarcasm, abeg when was the last time you saw me smoke? ehn? I'll admit, I have smoked before, not even just a normal cigarette but this was around last year and I just wanted to see what the 'big deal' was, I did not see or taste any big deal for that matter, it just caused me to cough uncontrollably and fall asleep for some hours. She knows that I do not smoke so I don't know why she asked me that question, maybe she was high.


Lol has this ever happened to you? I was in the girl's toilets when one of the dinner ladies came in to do her beeezness, she now entered the cubicle and started talking. She said 'Hello, are you alright' and me being the coconut head that I am responded by replying 'Hi' back, she carried on asking questions etc when I realised she was not talking to me, she was actually on the phone, eh eh eh! I nicely flung myself out of the toilet and ran outside so that she would not see the face of the mad girl talking to herself, kai, I was so embarassed. Of course I was giggling to myself moments after, wonders shall never end o!

Nollywood Rants

I was sitting down watching one Nollywood film with my daddy, the film starred Jim Iyke and my dad made one comment about Jim Iyke looking too old to play the role he was playing in the film, I think he was a University student or had just graduated, something like that, that it was getting too unexciting. It's true na, Nollywood needs more young actors na, not that previous ones are not good, in my opinion many Nollywood actors are doing a great job in the movies they star in but nobody is young forever, no matter how much makeup, plastic surgery etc you don put for your face jare. Reminds me of one time I was watching a Nollywood film, great storyline but the actors just killed it for me, imagine Saint Obi playing the role of a young university student, as old as he is, most of these so called students looked older than my grandma, no be lie o.

These actors are good/great and should keep doing their best to entertain the viewers, but c'mon, they should make characters look more realistic, put them into a beleivable role na, sure say true actors should be able play any role, but let us not be silly na, next thing you know, Patience Ozokwor will be playing the role of a nursery school student, all in the name of acting?!

Watched another Nollywood film, the usual campus cultist kind of film where cultist likes girl, but girl hates cultist, girl has boyfriend, cultist hates boyfriend, cultist tries to force girl to like him, yada yada yada. I was really trying to concetrate on the film but there was just one thing that kept drawing my attention away from the main movie. The way the cultist was dressing just made me wonder if he had as a matter of fact dressed in the dark before coming on set, even the hardware he had on his face, earrings, bandanna everytime, cheap looking sunglasses, the usual baggy jeans though these ones were three quarter lengths making it look even uglier, baggy top, baggy jacket, ridiculous amounts of side bags, needless to say the guy looked ridiculous, nawa o, one man's meat is another man's poison, this attire don poison me well well i no fit shout. The guy was even wearing a bandanna on his arm, why? I have no idea, he looked like a clown, all he was missing was the red nose and afro wig plus he put on this annoying accent, i dunno sha, whenever people want to play American characters in most Nollywood films, they always feel that there is a need to swear and say 'meeeehn' like a million times, it's always 'motherfuker, n*gga, or fucker, fuck' after every sentence, na real wa o.

To God be The Glory.


Moving On...

Friend's birthday tommorow, so we're going to Nandos, this will be the second time I've been to Nandos in my whole life, *gasp* omg I know.

Sure say na my paddy's and I go chop am well well!

Ahhh some people can be so annoying! *Banging Head* I know you will want to know who and what I am talking about, go and read a book or something, Busy Body's, see your head! Lol!

Thursday, 18 September 2008


Say the max fine per offense is £100

Smoked pot -- £10

Ever had sex at church -- £0 (i dey mad!?)

Woke up in the morning and did not know the person who was next to you-- £0

Had sex with someone you met on MySpace/Blogger/Facebook/Hi5 etc -- £0 (long hiss)

Had sex for money -- £0

Ever had sex with the a different race -- £0

Vandalized something -- £100

Had sex on your parents' bed -- £0 (spits on question)

Beat up someone -- £0

Been jumped -- £10

Given money to stripper -- £0

Drugged at a club -- £0

Been in love with a stripper -- £0 (I be T-Pain?)

Kissed some one whose name you didn't know -- £0

Hit on some one of the same sex while at work -- £0 (!!!!???)

Ever drive drunk -- £0 (Never even driven)

Ever got drunk at work, or went to work while still drunk -- £0

Used toys while having sex -- £0 (I still be virgin o!)

Got drunk, passed out and don't remember the night before -- £0 (Nahh

Gone skinny dipping -- £0 (Nah nah nah)

Had sex in a pool -- £0 (Not yet)

Kissed someone of the same sex-- £0 (Nah mate)

Had sex with someone of the same sex -- $£0

Cheated on your significant other -- £0

Masturbated -- £0

Watched porn -- £0

Cheated on your significant other with their relative or close friend -- £0 (I wouldn't na)

Done oral -- £0

Got oral --£0

Done / got oral in a car while it was moving -- £0

Stole something -- £20

Had sex with someone in jail -- £0

Made a nasty home video -- £0!!!!

Had a threesome -- £0 (Olorn Ma Je)

Been in the same room while someone was having sex -- £20 (Does same house count?)

Stole something worth more than a hundred dollars-- £0

Had sex with someone 10 years older -- £0 (Are you bloody mad?)

Had sex with someone under 21 and you are over 27 -- £0 (Hiss)

Been in love with two people or more at the same time -- £0 (Hehehehe never!)

Said you love someone but didn't mean it -- £20 (Guilty as charged)

Gone streaking -- £0

Been arrested -- £0

Spent time in jail -- £0

Peed in the pool -- £40 (Hehehe, when I was smaller)

Played spin the bottle -- £0 (I prefer to watch)

Done something you regret -- £50

Had sex with your best friend -- £0

Had sex with someone you work with at work -- £0

Lied to your mate -- £20

Lied to your mate about the sex being good -- £0

Stole meat from the pot -- £100!! (ROFLMAO)

Lied about stealing meat from the pot -- £40 (Hahahahahaha yes!)

My fine: £630 I think!

I slipped on okro! Who leaves a traces of okro on the floor? Apparently my sister.

So I was on the bus coming back home from school, there was one mad Jamaican woman with a little kid and she was talking to either herself or random people, man was she funny. She was chanting something about how we girls should not be messing with boys and that they will just come and 'fock up ya life, ya hear meh?' lol, people were just looking at giggling.

Then when I got off the bus, coincidentally she came off too and started talking again about how 'di fot mon com stink op di bus' (the fat man was stinking up the bus)the way she was saying it made me crack up, her Jamaican accent was so fresh to which made it even funnier. She said that the man is a health hazard and that she should be barred from buses roflmao! Oh Gosh!

I didn't smell anything, maybe because of where I was sitting.

Wednesday, 17 September 2008

Wall Street Crisis

So what do you think about this whole wall street crisis? It's a shame, all those jobs, gone like that, cheii. Lehman Brother's don collapse sef causing many investors to dump shares etc, I feel for the bank.

The way these banks were just loaning out money anyhow, I don't think that they were thinking correctly.

My economics teacher said the whole cause of this catastrophe is because of greed, that if you look back on the whole thing, it all goes back to pure greed.


'Corrective' Rape

Have you heard of this whole 'Corrective Rape' nonsense? Apparently it is becoming more common in Africa, basically lesbians are targets for rape as these rapists beleive that once you give her a 'good fuck' she will then turn heterosexual, I see a few people have been smoking weeeeed. *Spits on belief*

Another pathetic excuse for rape, I actually think this is the lamest one I've heard overall, sigh, I actually hissed so hard after reading the article, what is this world coming to ehn? Na the realest wa o!


Can you imagine one of my oyinbo friends thought that Jellof Rice was called ‘Jelly Fried Rice’ so when she was asking for it, we were all wondering what the hell she was talking about for about 5 minutes, then we realised, Roflmao! Jelly ko.

Domestic Violence

OMG! What a loser I am, just realised that I am wearing my top inside out because I have been wearing my jacket on top until now and I can’t be bothered to go to the toilets and sort myself out.

A few of us were watching a film during our free periods, if I had to give one word to describe it, disgusting, I should elaborate abi? Disgusting.
Also watched a documentary on domestic violence, on average women are assaulted 35 times before calling the police? That it is a struggle for police to get evidence and even If they do, majority of these victims are intimidated by their assaultive partners to withdraw their statements.

Even when they get evidence it has to go through the CPS (Crown Prosecution Service) first before being taken to the court, the CPS need to measure how sufficient the evidence is and then state whether or not it is worth being taken to court because you see, if the evidence is not enough, the case will just be dropped, waste of time, waste of money, barristers are expensive o.

It’s sad too see what some people have to go through because of some nitwit who seems to be missing part of their already small brain, not only will they beat their victims, but rape them, anyway sha, thank God for castration.

I was watching one Nollywood movie with my brother yesterday sha and there was one scene where this girl(Rita Dominic) and the guy (Desmond Elliott) were having an argument, base of the argument as always was stupid but that’s not the point. My brother, who is only 8, I said 8 o asked me that if I was a boy and the girl was being rude and talked to me like that, what would I do? I laughed and said that I would offer her a cup of tea, he knew I was not being serious and was reluctant to answer the question himself, I pursued him to the point where he eventually told me that who would slap her, kai! I hope say this one be joke o, slap ke, if you heard the way I kissed my teeth, I can even still hear the echo now.

If you slap me I go slap you well pass the slap you first dey deliver for my face.


Tuesday, 16 September 2008

Good Ol' Days

Anybody played spin the bottle? That yeye game where girls and boys would sit in a big circle with a bottle in the middle. The bottle is to be then spun but whom i would call the 'predator', it's like a jungle, a jungle of drunk teenagers, anyway sha, predator spins bottle, bottle don land or 'stop' and will be pointing at whome I would call the 'prey'. Prey must now kiss or sleep with oga predator, depends on the 'level' of the game but usually it is not always as major as having to sleep with oga predator. Me, I be correct girl as in I never dey play in such a game, just watch. First time I 'watched' there was this couple who looked like they were gonna eat each other's faces off, abi they no dey chop food at all? haba! Wetin happen to simple chocolate or sandwhich? E be like say fashion don escalate to a whole new level o, you dey hungry? make you go chop another person's face, delicious! Yum yum yum! And the cycle goes on and on and on!

Hmm, so I am reminiscing, last years of highschool were so sweet, If I could go back in time I would, abi you no dey hear of time machine? We played pranks, we got into trouble, we laughed our butts off but the most imporant thing is that we had fun. One school trip I went on, I can never forget that, expensive but worthit. We went to Spain, went around, shopping, eating, had our own rooms in one hotel, two to a room, at most three. Fun thing about it was that we were not allowed out of our rooms at a certain time otherwise we would get into trouble, oga teacher would scan the hotel for any teenage girls out of their rooms before he went to sleep, caught a few but nothing drastic happened, guess it was just a threat. Anyways sha there was this one day that I really wanted to have some fun, we had telephones in our rooms in which we could use freely to call other room numbers, so I called up one girl, we'll call her 'S', she is a great target for pranks, very vulnerable but funny.

Called her up and put on one weird voice pretending to be her 'secret admirer'. I was like 'Hello, hello, I'm watching you baby, I'm watching you' using one deep frog voice. She was like 'wtf!?' lol, I think she fell for it but she didn't, a mixture, you never can tell with that girl. Eventually it was not only me who played a part in this game, many friends from other rooms joined in and we had a blast! We would knock on her door and leave notes and then run back and jump into bed, I remember one time she was coming out to check and I flew next door back into my room and literally flung my body onto the bed hehehehehe.

The prank went one for a whole three days, lol she did not know who it was exactly but she had an idea and we all laughed together about trying to figure out the 'culprits' *stroking chin*, during these three days we called her room, left notes and even left flowers, buahahahahaha, eventually she found out, everyone did, well, those who were not participating, she said she had a feeling that it was me, who? innocent me? nah. *Grinning*

During I time in spain we were being stalked by these three boys, stalked in the sense that wherever we were, they were and it was so obvious that they were following us. We nicknamed them the 'pirates' because each of the wore pirate looking earings on one ear, looked really stupid sha, na them sabi.

There was the time that we were waiting for the train to take us back to the hotel and low and behold, na pirates don land, well they were getting on the train before ours so they boarded the train and as they did so, one decided to spit flem out into the air, my gawwwwwwwwwwd, the flem did one backflip, rolly polly in the air and landed on one girl amongst our school group, my eyes nearly popped out, so disgusting, if I was her (thank God I was not) I would have stripped and thrown the shirt into the tracks without a second thought, even if na bra dey only dey for my body, I go style am out well so e be like say i don do am on purpose. Gosh I think I'm gonna puke, excuse me.

Lovely Day!

What an awful day I have had so far. I lost my Oyster Card. Every Londoner has at least three important cards in their life, one of them being their Oyster Card, it’s like gold, like a million pounds, so basically I just misplaced a million quid, great. I had to walk to school today because I did not realise that it was missing until I exited the bus 93. I guess I left it on the bus then, or maybe it dropped, either way it’s still lost and I’m still fucked until the next one I recently ordered comes, £2 for every bus ride? Are you bloody kidding me?

Don’t you just hate it when you’ve done a lovely piece of work in school, neat and well organised, handwriting looking so pretty and then you hand it in to your teacher and then they mark it and make it look so ugly and smudged when they return it back to you, even if you did get a good grade, it still looks horrible.

Monday, 15 September 2008

Are you actually kidding me? I just saw a dead fox lying on the pavement coming down from Wimbeldon college, if you see way I jumped, oh gosh and there was blood, blood, blood, I don't like blood, well atleast when it isn't running through my veins keeping me alive, other than that, I'm not too fond of it. Plus the body looked squashed. The corpse does not fit well with the area, this place is way too posh for lifeless fox corpses to be lingering around hehehehe. Someone should have cleaned it up by now. May the fox’s poor soul rest in perfect peace, probably got hit by a car.

I have just been told that I am the worst 'hug giver' in the world, literally just now. I know I suck at hugging people, I give more of a pat on the back whilst my arms are stretched out wide like a spazztic. Well it's not like I need a degree in hugging, or is it essential to have mastered the art of perfert hugging in order to gain admission ino Univerity? I think not. *Grinning*

Aww one of my friends is in hospital again due to her sickle cell, a bunch of us will go and visit her after school most probably. Apparently, she was walking yesterday when her legs suddenly 'gave way', basically stopped working, when Sarah was telling me this the scenario started playing itself in my head and I could help but throw in a chuckle, not at the fact that she is in hospital but the way it happened this time. She'll be out in no time though, it's like a cycle, she's probably even laughing about it herself. Enjoy the free food Jennifer!

I noticed there are hardly any year 12 boys in the girls common room, well not as much as there used to be when we were in that year, our common room was infested with them, lol I guess that sounded a little derogatory.

Gosh, the upstairs Language hallway stinks, apparently somebody vomited there, dear Lord.

Sunday, 14 September 2008

Escape Of The Imprisoned Weave

Ho ho ho! So did I mention the time I went to one party and there was one girl who was showing off through out the whole time, at first it was funny but then it got really annoying, annoying in the sense that she kept pushing people out of the way etc etc but then at the end it got funny again, really funny. Everyone was dancing, having a good time blah blah blah etc etc etc, all sorts of good music you can think of, me sef, I was just doing my own thang like i do o, suddenly the song dutty wine starts playing and everyone is getting excited. Then the girl starts swinging her head all over the place, swing swing swing, shake shake shake, wine wine wine, unlucky for her she was wearing one weave on her head, attached to her real hair in the style of a pony tail, i think the style is called 'Shuku' or something like that. Anyway sha, the girl dey spin her head like a fan when suddenly the weave makes an escape and flies off of her head from one side of the dance floor to the other, maybe the hair attachment and the bonding thread had an argument, you no dey hear say all things na possible through Christ who strengthens thee, well I'm guessing that the attachment don pray for night and day enough for Christ to dash am enough power ati strength so e don go wakka commot for head. Kai! I had to rub my eyes just to make sure say e no be illusion, that my eyes don see clearly, afterall, I was not wearing my prescribed glasses that day. Needless to say, it was not a dream.

My God, the scene even replayed itself in slow motion, walahi talahi and as the rebellious weave did the superman, everybody's head done turn towrads the ceiling, eyes trailing the weave from start to finish. Oh gosh and that's not all, after the weave's succesful escape it left what could be seen as literally one strand of hair sticking out of the headband she had on her head, oh boy, for shame for shame. I just shook my head, I don't think anybody who was at the party has laughed as much as they did that day, I know I haven't. Funny enough after that scenerio we did not see the girl throughout the rest of the party, I wonder where she went.

Anyways sha, after moments of gut bursting laughter we all got back to our fun of dancing. There was smoke in the air, not ciggarette smoke but I think they just put it there to make the place look more 'mysterious', everywhere was dark sha, though we could still see. The smoke caused the fire alarm to go off because I guess there was just too much, then we all had to step outside. Eventually the problem got fixed and so everybody retreated back onto the dancefloor to finish off what we had continued, hehehehe. Eh eh, If you see some of the way these boys and girls were dancing eh, like dry sex, grinding like no man's business, some where even doing one dance involving one girl in the middle with 2 boys, one on each of her side, bumping ati grinding o, I think it's called the 'sandwhich'. Every time a boy would come near me or attempt to come and grind with me I would just hop, skip and jump my war outta there, don't want to get butt raped jare lol. Plus I found it more fun to dance with friends.

Gosh that day was fuuuuu-nnnnny! I don laff die!

And the moral of the story is, 'Always make sure that your weave is attached very tightly to your head'.

Sex For Yo Stereo

Got some sex for your stereo
Girl you wanna bump it
Turn it up don't turn me down
promise that you'll love it

Anybody else love that song? By the lovely and oh so cute and fine Trey Songz *Grinning*

Don't get me wrong jare, the tune is to die for!

Also tripping for 'Wonder Woman' and 'Can't help but wait'

Today we had our national joint service at church meaning that all branches would come to together and fellowship. Service was good, I really enjoyed the preaching, it was one pastor who was based in one of our churches but in lagos and I must say, he was funny, he spoke kind of funny too. He was speaking about how we have not yet 'arrived', God has many more blessing to shower us with and all the while I was shouting in my head 'Amii, Amii, Amii!'. I loved the praise and worship, they they sang my favourite praise song, one that goes kind of like this 'Highest, highest that is your name' but they added a bit of naija flava to it adding yoruba in some places and bending down when dancing hehehe, I was really in the mood.

Now to the presentation part, hmmmm, there was one woman who was to do a solo but with back up to the song 'I know my redeemer lives', everybody was seated, ready to hear this sweet angelic voice. My God! As soon as she opened her mouth each eyelash bungee jumped off of my eyelid followed by my left ear dropping of at every note she sang, I could tell everyone was taken aback but continued to watch and smile as though it was Mariah Carey performing for us, nawa o. A group of girls behind me were sniggering away like there was no tommrow not even trying to cover their mouths while laughing like maniacs, even some adults were giving a bit of a smirk. Well, at least she was doing it for God and that is what matters most abi? *Scratching Head* In the car, on our way home my dad made one comment like 'If it was Simon Cowell listening to her, he would have slammed her', hehehe, it sounded funnier when and the way he said it though. Anyway sha, she tried her best and I know that God enjoyed it.

Yay, I did not have to work today at church also. I do voluntary work at the back with the media and technical team and each worker is meant to work at most once a month but it seems as though I am always getting called back to one thing or the other and it can sometimes get annoying, my mum says that I should set good examples and be of help at all times especially considering the fact that my Dad is a pastor in the church, yeah yeah yeah, doesn't mean that they should take advantage of me now does it?


One thing I hate is when I prostate (Kneel Down) to adults while greeting in them and some of them just walk past you and/or don't even look at you, even if they did not hear or see, it is still embarassing! Lol, happened to me today AGAIN.

Saturday, 13 September 2008

Land Of The Naira Yo

Anybody know about one forum called Nairaland? The Nairaland Forum is the biggest Nigerian website on the Internet and one of the funniest in my opinion, gosh with their constant yabbing, be careful o! Just know that if you have joined the site and have not yet been yabbed/insulted then you are not yet a true nairalander. But worry not, I am very that 1 or 2 of them have a few doses of insults packed away for you. I guess it is all just fun and games, no be so? I have made many friends there too, actually makes me feel at home when I'm there, anybody who knows about nairaland may know me as one 'ibkaye', favourite places there are Forum Games, Jokes and of course Romance!

Checkirout some time!

Hmm, anybody wanna fork out some cash to buy me these goodies? Give and it shall come back to you, good measure, press down shake it together and, running over!

Used to have the black and brown ones of these aviator glasses, don't know where they've run off to sha.

This was ages ago but I still feel like blogging about it hehehehe. Ok It was my friend's birthday celebration and we all went to one 'posh' chinese restaurant make we chop the food well well. Had fun, played, messed about, talked and best of all we ate, duh! Anyways sha it was time to go home and we had to take the bus home, lucky for me the place was not too far from my house, anyways sha, eventually my friend that I was going home with and I decided that we should go to her house first so that my parent's could come and pick me up, we felt like messing about more fun fun fun, as we were walking clackety clack with our highheels, one tinted car came and stopped next to us, shioor and it was around 12am sha, if you see the way I grabbed onto my friend's hand and breezed into the opposite direction, sure say you go tell me i dey fit for olympics 2012! Of all the nonsense we have been hearing about in this country ehn, me i no dey take chance at all at all and as i dey do quick thinking ehn, as i dey commot for the opposite direction of the car so e no dey follow us as fast, meehn, my feet were killing me, kai!

Currently Listening to Young Folks by Peter Bjorn and John

So so so, came back from taking my little brother to football practice, he calls his team the 'blues' and they wear blue kits, I must have asked him one 'obvious' question, I was not even playing when I asked him, I really wanted to know, I asked him if the other teams 'greens', 'reds' etc where 'green', 'red' etc kits, he was like 'duh', imgaine this small 8 year old boy ehn. Loads of people on the field, this is actually the second time I have taken him I think because it is usally it is usually my sister who takes him but apparently she wasn't feeling well, 'apparently'.

Mum and Dad have gone to one special party presentation held for our head pastor, it's his birthay, God bless him. They said that it was only for 'VIP's' and that's why we couldn't come, imagine how 'small' I felt when they said that hehehe, not that I would have gone with them even if I was invited, just that it feels nice to get invited to places *grins*. Though my smallest sister can go because she is doing a dance performance for them.

Mama kept asking me, 'does this top look good?', 'do these shoes match' etc etc etc, she knows it is good jare, just fishing for compliments jare hehehe, she is still young, at heart!

Speaking of being young at heart, lookie wetin i dey find! *big smile*

Friday, 12 September 2008

Come Around

This girl is so weird, love her. Her name is M.I.A, nice music.

Check my coat in and I paid the dollar,
Sidekick rings, "what's up? holla!"
Text the address, I'll see you later
Baby come down
Come down, come down, come down
run down, run down, run down
Run, make a run, make a run, make a run, make a run, make a run down
A dun da da dun da da dun da da dun da da dun dun
Beat goes on
A dun da da dun da da dun da da dun da da dun dun
Beat goes on

In a faraway land we got shit made
Ray-Ban shades, warheads laid
Babies born in air raids
My girls run the Everglades
Indian tribesmen gamble spades
Indian chicks, they get men laid
Milk and honey, smoke high-grade
Gold and diamond, gems and jade
Ride up on our tanks, invade
Blow up thing to save our nam
Mina, Rina, Tina, Sabrina
Being a super Indian babe
We black market, we black made
We hit shit out when it rains
Would you come down and catch my train?
Would you run down and play this game?

Check my coat in and I paid the dollar,
Sidekick rings, "what's up? holla!"
Text the address, I'll see you later
Baby come down
Come down, come down, come down
run down, run down, run down
Run, make a run, make a run, make a run, make a run, make a run down
A dun da da dun da da dun da da dun da da dun dun
Beat goes on
A dun da da dun da da dun da da dun da da dun dun
Beat goes on

Thursday, 11 September 2008


I hate it when I'm drinking from a bottle, the plastic ones, say like a fanta bottle like today and when i'm sucking, the air is obviously getting sucked too when the drink is almost finished and during this moment of sucking, the bottle starts to go inwards than out making all these clacky clacky noises.

Ok so I fell asleep in two of my classes today, naomi had to wake me up, I don't know what was more boring, the lesson or the teacher and it's not usually like this, I no know wetin happen for today.

What, what, what, what!? Another friend of mine has crossed over to the dirty side, na real wa o! She dey gist me for wetin she do with one boy, the way my jaw dropped ehn, if you saw it! I am just happy that she did not do the main thing, i know say she dey lick, suck, grind exctera exctera, but why na? and for what? and I know for a fact that this bobo she dey play with no dey serious at all at all and that is why I am so concerned. Na them sabi jare, another lost soul I must help out with my good ol' words of wisdom because as she dey enjoy for now, she no dey sabi wetin shock will do for her head.

Wednesday, 10 September 2008

It's a jungle out there! No be lie o! Today, friends and I were just planning to hop onto the bus to go to school, my school is located in Wimbledon, amongst a few other college and highschools, these yeye students, rather than them to go straight to school, they will be standing around waiting for boys and girls, making trouble. If you want to get on a bus safely, you must be at that bus stop for at least 7.50am, otherwise, the savages will come o. The way people push to get onto the buses lol, like animals, it's like survival of the fittest!

So apparently the world was meant to end today, oh shit.

Yeye scientists with their yeye experiment, big bang ko, small clap ni, nooonseense.

During free period today, a few of us were having a interesting discussion about tattoos, one of my friend's has already got one on her wrist, her date of birth, na her sabi, maybe she constantly forgets her birthday and needs a reminder once in a while, another friend of mine got one done in her vaginal area, can you imagine!? As they say, one man's meat is another man's poison, na her sabi well well also and all for fun, to be honest, If you are going to get a tattoo, it should have meaning behind it, not that you just woke up one day and thought, 'oooh, let me get a tattoo'.

Another friend, he has a girlfriend who he has been trying to persuade to get his name or 'tag' tattooed onto her hip, If she does this she is being foolish and I will not be suprised if they end up breaking up the relationship a few days after, probably over something stupid and too bad for her, on her hip will be a reminder of him, unless she will be planning on getting laser treatment, but at the end of it all, what was the point? Him sha, I don't even know what to say, plus it is not like they will both be getting each other's names tattooed on themselves, it will only be her whilst he sits there grinning from ear to ear, what cheek. I am crazy for love, but not crazy.

Agyei, gye gidigidigidi eh wo!


I loff neyo's new song 'Miss independant', nice beat.


Also got rihanna's 'Sell me candy' stuck in my head!

Sell me candy! Sell me love!

Tuesday, 9 September 2008

Tseeeeeeeeeeeew, just got back from the village, hehehe, ok college. Man, the bus took ages to come and I really needed to wee wee, to top it all off, it was raining, all these droplets of liquid dripping from the clouds when i'm bursting for the ladies!

I was going to my economics class as usual, but this time there had been a room change so I was busy scanning through the map looking for the maths block where it had been moved to when suddenly, one small boy came up to me and said 'miss, do you know where room S6 is', lol I guess he thought I was a teacher, must have been the suit I was wearing, I was like, urrrrggh, poor boy.

I was on the bus, and there was one lady sitting in front at the opposite side eating one big baguette sandwhich, I could not help but to stare, not that I was hungry, it was just the way she was eating it, chomp chomp chomp, BIG chomps, gnash gnash gnash, it is rude to stare but I could not help it o and evertime she would turn her I would quickly turn mine so that she would not catch me staring. Suddenly her phone rings and then she starts talking like a Jamaican, all this 'ya man' stuff, the way my eyes shone, this lady is white o, the accent did not suit her at all.

Gosh I felt so weak today, felt like I was going to faint. I remember the first time I fainted sha, I was in my biology class and then I started feeling weak and lightheaded and I just fell, I was in front of the class too and everyone was like 'omg' trying to help me. I got taken out of the class and one woman started talking to me asking me all these questions, how old was I sha? Some years back. I just nodded and shook my head like a good girl and then she asked me if I was pregnant, EH!? Kilon Soro!? Pregnant ke, no no no lol, I'm sure she saw the look I pulled when she asked me the question and then she said that she just wanted to be sure, alright madame.

Monday, 8 September 2008

Happy Anniversary

It's my parent's anniversary today, I don't know exactly how many years but I know at least 19 years! Happy Anniversary! Love You Both!

So I have decided to totally change the course I planned on doing in University, instead of studying Computer Science, I plan on studying Economics, the University I plan on studying it at gives the choice of combining it with either an Asian or African language, Hausa is amongst the languages listed, it is the only Nigerian language available and I would not mind taking it up considering the fact that my mum is Hausa so It won't be too bad, taking up this language is not a definate choice of mine though the Economics part is. Even one of my friends has changed her options, rather than doing medicine she is choosing to do law, i'm sure all things will work out for the best for us by God's grace.

Can you just imagine? One uncle in my church reported my friend and I to our mum's saying that we do not dress apropriately to church. What!? Fair enough, I don't cover myself up from head to toe like some nun but neither do I dress indecently and neither does my friend, If my mum has not complained to me then I do not think I have done anything wrong. Funny, I'm suprised, I thought it would be an aunt who would make such a complaint, not an uncle! Number one busy body!

Anyways sha, just came home now from college and bumped into one aunty I have not seen in ages, I first saw her son who I recognised, he has grown o, he is now 10, i don't know how old his younger brother is but he too has grown! I must have looked like one weirdo because I was staring at first and then his mum came out and we were both like ahhhhhh! Apparently they had gone to Nigeria for some time, I don't know if they are back for good or just on holiday, but it was good to see my aunty again.

After school, I went window shopping with Sarah and Jennifer, Jennifer wanted one dress from Warehouse because apparently she is to be attending one 'Posh' dinner party with her mother, lol, the dress looked nice when she tried it on, just that her breasts like they were about to rip out of the dress, they looked GIGANTIC! Hahahahaha, still looked cute though.

After that, we visited the library with the intentions of studying, well I managed to complete a peice of homework but after that just chatted away, very bad of us I know, the devil is a liar hehehe. Then they started talking about Ghana and how fun it was when they went,they are Ghanaians, I then started talking about Nigeria and how my dad had recently told me that tt would have been a good idea to send me there for my primary school, eh eh, lol why is he just telling me this now, I would have gladly gone, even skipped to the airport myself lol, too late anyway now.

Just getting used to my new time table, first lesson today was economics, for 2 hours, I really enjoyed the lesson sha. New teacher, new classmates, new textbooks, hmm, the textbooks distributed to us are so tattered and poor in presentation, talk about crustified and chunky as hell. The teacher, Mr K went around the class asking for our names, the poor guy could not pronounce mine, shame, he actually asked me where the name was from.

After that, went to my next class but the teacher was absent so had to go to the Library, currently where I am at the moment, just taking a little break from studying. Funny how most of the year 13's are in the library and most of the new year 12's are busy chatting and flirting away in the common room, I want to warn them that e no easy o, but I don't, this is how most of us were when we first started sixthform, hmm, I guess they should just learn the hard way, plus, a lot of them are very rude so I'm sure they won't listen to the older year students' advise, too bad.

My feet are hurting because the socks I'm wearing with my shoes are really thick, it was cold in the morning though, gosh. Need to prepare for a presentation on Economic Growth for next week, how fun. Hmmm, my sixthform is an all girls highschool and sixthform college, but we also have a boys version of our school about 15 minutes walk away. Sometimes, sixthformers want to study subjects that may not be taught in my school's sixthform, but taught in the boy's version vice versa, sometimes girls go over there for their lessons, same applies for the boys coming over here.

I unfortunately am one of those girls, economics is not taught in my school so I have to travel all the way to the boys school to have my lesson and it is one mission. We have to climb up one mountain just to get there, hehehe ok maybe not a mountain, but the hill is just as big! Teachers are not sympathetic to this either, our schools are strict, If you are late, you aint entering the classroom, simple as, that is not fair at all and I hate it when I complain and the teachers will just make a joke about it saying that it is a good form of exercise for us, exercise my foot jare, I came here to study, not to work out abeg.

I have not even eaten anything yet sha, can't be bothered to go all the way to the canteen, this is what laziness does to you hehehehe.

I'm sure there will be a uniform inspection soon, even though the school has only just resumed, they like to creep up on you, this school is sly o, no be like when schools will inform you of checkups, they will pounce on you like a lion, shioor.

Sunday, 7 September 2008


Browsing through youtube and came across one ghanaian artist called 'Tinny', I am tripping o, I like his music plus the guy is yummy, i don trip! He actually reminds me of two people I know.

Tapa tapa wiki ta wiki ta bad bad!

Tinny - Tingele

Tinny Ft Samidi - Now I Know


The 'Crush'

My first real crush, hmmmm. Our families have always been close since I was a smallie, he lived in Nigeria, I lived in UK, though he, his mother and sister would come over on occassions, this was ages ago. He used to propose to me lol, we were like 5 I think, he would say that if I married him he would buy me a car.

Anyway sha, time moved on, so and so, both in our seperate countries, we're like 11 now, he comes over with his mum and they are staying at our house, I guess we had both 'forgotten' about this little thing we had, or had we? We'd just muck about, make jokes, I really enjoyed his company and hope he did mine. Then he travels back to Nigeria, okay okay, life goes on. Some years later, he travels to UK with his youngest sister and is staying at our house for a whole 2 weeks, yay! He's grown so much, gosh he's so hmmmmm. Is there such a thing as 'Unknown Flirting'? because darn that is what I was doing, honestly, I did not know that was what I was doing, I was just doing it and doing it and doing it well. Still, we did not talk about our 'thing' together, both had it at the back of our minds, but still not talking, oh well, I'm still enjoying myself.

So the 2 weeks go by, eventually it's time for them to go back to Nigeria, I'm so sad, I miss them so much, but like I said, life moves on. Did I mention that before they left he gave me his chain, I feel so gooey lol. The journey to the airport, we are both sitting at the back of the Jeep, just the two of us, hehehehe, the 'Unknown Flirting' starts again.

So they've gone, too bad.

Some years later again! (Last Sepetember) It's time for me to go to Nigeria! Yay, plus I'm sure I will enjoy it because I'm much older now, the first time I went, I hated it lol.

So, I dey for naija, I love it, I will be in Lagos for two weeks and then Ibadan for 1 week, for that whole 2 weeks I will be at his house, interesting. For the first few days, we act like strangers, gosh, what the heck am I thinking? Well, I'm shy and I know he is too, not even flirting 'unknowingly', oh man. Then one day, gbam! We start our whole 'thing' again, we are together, alone, in his room, everyone is sleeping, sitting on his bed, we talk, tell each other how we feel, he tells me he has liked me ever since he came to UK with his mum and stayed at our house that time, I am 'shocked', I am happy! I tell him I was feeling for him since he came with his sister, we start flirting again, I love it, but we are 'good' children, we do nothing, nothing at all, not even kiss, I know he wanted to, but was probably scared of what my reaction would be, that is sweet of him.

Eventually I must leave, I can't sleep in his bedroom, though he wants me to, I refuse, what will our parents say o? Make I just commot for there pronto. So I get up, he gets up also, gives me a hug and a peck, hehehehe, i'm blushing, I then go back to his sister's room where I have been staying all this while. I could not sleep immediately, i'm too happy, you should have seen my teeth o, the way they were shining.

Too bad he has to go to Uni soon, meaning I will not be seeing him after I come back from Ibadan, Lagos for the first week, Ibadan for the second, Lagos again for the third. Before I leave, he gives me his shirt, feeling gooey again. Go to Ibadan, meet new people, have fun and then it's back to Lagos. When we get back to Lagos I dey for his house again, with his sister and cousin, these guys are funny man! Fun Fun Fun! I don miss the guy die o, I keep asking his sister and cousin questions, hehehehehehe.

It is now time to go back to UK, the fun is over o and damn i'm pissed, I don't want to leave! Anyway sha, before I leave, I leave for him a little presnt for when he gets back from Uni, my Ipod, I must have been crazy to do that, when did I even get it sha that I am giving it away already? Whatever man, I have no regrets. Lol what will I tell my parents? Usual excuse, I lost it.

I actually cried on the plane and when I got back home, I would miss both Naija and Him, gosh was it that bad? I guess that's why I am Cappuccine 'Baby'.


This is one of my favourite animes, one of the things I love about it is that it is not too corny, it's realistic and what can I say? It's cute. Written by one o my favourite manga artists, Ai Yazawa. I dunno, whenever I watch an anime or read a manga, I always put myself in the characters positions, as if it is me I am watching or reading, I guess you'd call me an 'Anime Otaku', don't know what that means? Checkiirout.

Yukari is the heroine of the story, a high school student who is tired of the meaningless and repetitive life that has been forced upon her by her uptight mother. She eventually models for Paradise Kiss after being "kidnapped" by Isabella and whisked away to Paradise Kiss' "atelier". She is often referred to, inexplicably, as "Caroline" by Miwako.
Yukari begins the series as a pretty faced, yet rather unattractive in personality, high school senior that studies dutifully for university entrance exams. When she meets the ParaKiss crew, she begins to discover new depth to her personality and life. Her passionate and sometimes destructive relationship with George is key to this self-discovery. Yukari is competitive, quick to blame others, and desperately wants to experience more; George often points out the flaws in her personality, but admits that he finds them alluring, claiming that she was "born into this world to drive [him] crazy." At the end of the series, Yukari ends up marrying her schoolmate, Hiroyuki Tokumori. (Although this is revealed during the last volume of the manga, the last episode of the series only hints at their marriage.)

Another anime I adore! Death Note! Jeez this anime is amazing!

My favourite character is 'L', this guy is coooooooool, that word is hella corny but I can't think of anything else to call it, he's cool!

It has been turned into a movie sha, real life people acting, so If you're interested, check out the anime or the film, though I have only watched the anime.

The series is about Light Yagami, an extremely intelligent young man who resents the crime and corruption in the world. His life undergoes a drastic change when he discovers a mysterious notebook, known as the "Death Note", lying on the ground. The Death Note's instructions claim that if a human's name is written within it, that person shall die. Light is initially skeptical of the notebook's authenticity, but after experimenting with it, Light realizes that the Death Note is real. After meeting with the previous owner of the Death Note, a shinigami named Ryuk, Light seeks to become "the God of the New World" by passing his judgement on those he deems to be evil or who get in his way.

Soon, the number of inexplicable deaths of reported criminals catches the attention of the International Police Organization and a mysterious detective known only as "L". L quickly learns that the serial killer, dubbed by the public as "Kira" (キラ, "Kira"? derived from the Japanese pronunciation of the word "killer"), is located in Japan. L also concludes that Kira can kill people without laying a finger on them. Light realizes that L will be his greatest nemesis, and a game of psychological cat and mouse between the two beginings.

I Just Wanna Live!

I am assuming you have heard of the term 'Live for the moment', it's like a fun peice of advice. I think I do this way too much, as in live for the moment, not necessarily thinking about the future or the consesquences, this does not apply with my studies, hehehehehe. I'm talking about behaviour, the things I do! I'm not a bad girl, just that I do not always abide by rules, come to think of it, does anoybody? *Fluttering Eyelashes* Nothing extreme though.

Moving On....

Have you noticed that after a certain amount of time, married couples start looking like each other? Really weird.

Moving On again....

"I like my money right where I can see it: hanging in my closet" - Carrie from Sex and the City

Got my eyes on these goodies.

Cute, cuter and cutest!

Anybody want to buy them for me? I will love you forever and ever and ever.

Saturday, 6 September 2008

Mo Like

Mo like John Legend's song with Andre 3000, Green Light Gan! Actually dancing whilst typing this! (For all the non Yoruba speakers, translation is 'I like John Legend's song with Andre 300, Green Light very much!') See as i dey practice, me sef, i no dey sabi Yoruba well well at all at all.

I see you move, I'm checking your smile
Working your back like it's going out of style
Shake just a little bit faster
Shake just a little now girl
Dying to meet you, so let's mess around
I've got an obsession of us getting down
Come just a little bit closer
I just need permission so just...

I kissed a girl and I liked it.

Have you heard that song? It is bye one Kate Perry, the song is cool sha, one of her other songs I like is 'You're so Gay' hahahahaha, check 'em out!

You might have seen her in the video 'Cupid's Chokehold' by 'Gym Class Heroes', she is the white girl at the end with the skates, cute.

Anybody remember 'Kriss Kross'? Those cute little boys who came up with the hit 'Jump', loved that song, actually, I still do! I was watching MTV and then their song started playing, couldn't help myself so I started dancing all crazy, hahahaha, sick song!

Another song I'm really feeling is 'Oh No' by Mos Def, Nate Dogg ati Pharoah Monch, the beat is hot! Mossy Def never ceases to impress, cool that ryhmed, maybe I should start rapping, hehehehehe nah!

One for the treble, two for the bass
Welcome to the great incredible paper chase
Keep your boots laced if you want to keep pace

One artist that I am totally in love with, Lupe Fiasco, that guy is HOT! His beats, his lyrics and his look, fine boy o! The Cool Is Here.

Just love a guy with glasses.

Love in Economics

Currenty Listening to 'I Decided' by 'Solange Knowles'

I was busy studying Economics, just going over a few notes on the topic 'Demand and Supply', when it occured to me that this kind of stuff sort of relates to relationships etc, don't you think? Demand refers to how much (quantity) of a product or service is desired by buyers.

In this case, whether it be ashewo (prostitute) relationship or basic love, it is like when a man likes a woman vice versa, he desires either her mind, her body or her soul, or even all of these things sha, there can be a certain amount of her that he wants, whether it be the amount of effort put into the relationship, when they are just getting down to business *wink* etc.

The quantity demanded is the amount of a product people are willing to buy at a certain price; so the measure of how much that man likes this woman will reflect on how much effort he is willing to put in into trying to woo her, get her. The relationship between price and quantity demanded is known as the demand relationship. Supply represents how much the market can offer, maybe the amount of loving and effort the woman is willing to give.

The quantity (love or nookie) supplied refers to the amount of a certain good producers (woman or man) are willing to supply when receiving a certain price. The correlation between price and how much of a good(woman or man) or service(love or nookie) is supplied to the market is known as the supply relationship.

Wow, this sort of thinking will definately get me the grades I need!

The Glock You Pop

I really enjoy this girls music, I dunno, something about it just gets me, especially one of her first songs, 'Pop The Glock'. She goes by the name 'Uffie', you should check her out some time.

You know another thing that also 'gets me'? Washing powder, I luuuuuuuuurve the smell and I have always been tempted to taste it, as in, whenever it is my turn to put the clothes in the washing machine, I will always stare and sniff at the powder tablets for at least 2 minutes, contemplating whether or not I should just taste it, a friend of mine has tasted it actually, not a whole tablet o! Just a sprinke! Too bad I don't have the guts. I also love the smell of Tipex, Rubb and Nail Vanish remover, these are mostly solvents right? Nah I aint a druggy Lol.

Corpse In My House

I know this is random and I was actually thinking about this for some time, at a point in your life, you would have killed an insect in your house, whether it be an ant, mosquitoe, moth etc and occasionnally, after swatting the moth on the wall, you would forget to clean it up, though it's only a small bug, it's still important thus leaving what technically is it's body squashed on the wall, that's basically a corpse! You have a corpse in your house lol how weird.

Friday, 5 September 2008

Youtube Humour!

Oh Lawdy Lawd Lawd!


The effects of Mentos and Coke!

These videos always make my day!

Baby Mii

I want to dedicate this post to a special someone in my life. Not a day goes by that I do not think about this person, this person is the reason for the constant butterflies in my stomach. I love talking to this person, I love laughing with this person, I love it when this person makes me laugh and I love it when I make this person laugh. This person is one of the best friend's anybody could have, plus the hottest! Even in my sleep I continue to think of this person, when I eat, when I dream when I bath when I dance when I everything!

Kisses going out to you baby!

Signed, Cappuccine Baby.

Eggs, Baked Beans and a nice Bogey!


Big Brother UK 9
Darnell dares Mohamed to do something quite revolting - and he does...

Dares are often foolish and on this occasion it was truer than ever as Darnell dared Mohamed to eat somebody else's bogey in return for a can of cider. And Mohamed accepted the challenge.

"Are we doing it out there," asked Mohamed pointing to the Garden in a typical stalling move.

"No," shouted Darnell defiantly, "we're doing it right here."

"I can't watch guys," whimpered Rachel.

"Okay," said Mohamed pointing at the table, "put the can there."

And that was the signal that the game was on. "Okay," shouted Darnell, "who's got a big bogey in their nose right now. It has to be green and buttery."

Green and buttery?

"I've got a huge bogey," offered Mikey as he rummaged around in his nose and produced a petite green-tinged nugget.

"That's gross," cried Darnell.

"I've got another one," laughed Mikey as he produced something not dissimilar to a small fried egg from his other nostril.

"Mo, please, no," pleaded Kathreya.

"I want you to put it on your finger and suck it off," screeched Darnell egging Mohamed on, and holding out the tissue with the two bogeys on it.

And he did. He picked the bogey up and ate it. He ate the lot, washed down with cider.

The screams from the boys and the girls were deafening, except for Kathreya - she was too busy being sick in the toilet.

Big Brother might have to join her...

Feeling brave? Watch the Bogey Man in action...

Source: http://www.channel4.com/bigbrother/news/newsstory.jsp?id=14621&position=31&imageId=9#gallery

Bon Apetit!

I knew this guy could EAT, but not to such an extent, oga desperado, na longthroat be this o!

I think I just vomited in my mouth. Excuse me.

R Kelly Came To My House

We are currently getting our house refurbished by a few seemingly nice men, they have been doing it for some weeks. My youngest sister often conversates with one particular man, I guess to keep him company, but suddenly today when he came over for his usual visits, he gave my sister a present, a sweet smelling (I must admit) bottle of perfume, hmmmmmmm, *stroking chin*, did i mention that whilst giving her the perfume he said 'you are my favourite one in the house'. Now there could be many reasons for this:

1. It could just be a kind gesture
2. He is trying to lure her into a perverse 'trap' *gasps*
3. He might just think she stinks and thought a bit of perfume could maybe kill off the offensive stench

I vote for number 3



Now that's funny.


Another quiz, I'm bored.

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you
thought? Ewww, drool

2. How much cash do you have on you? 1 Million

3. Whats a word that rhymes with door? Snore

4. Favorite planet? Jupiter

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your mobile? Dotun

6. What is your favorite ring on your phone? Naeto C - Kini big deal

7. What shirt are you wearing right now? Grey and white T-Shirt

8. Do you "label" yourself? At the moment, I label myself hungry, bami she rice

9. Name the brand of shoes you're currently wearing? Skin Limited, hahahaha, not wearing shoes

10. Bright or Dark Room? Dark

11. What do you think about the person who took this survey? Dunno

13. What were you doing at midnight? Sleeping

14. What did your last text message you received on your mobile say? Pick up your phone

15. Where is your mail box? Downstairs

17. Who told you he/she loved you last? Joseph

18. Last furry thing you touched? Sister's teddy

19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days? 4, Paracetemol jare

20. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed? ??????

21. Favorite age you have been so far? When I was 87

22. Your worst enemy? Satan!

23. What is your current desktop picture? My Some werid flower pic

24. What was the last thing you said to someone? Leave me alone

25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly? Fly jare!

26. Do you like someone? Seriously? Yes

27. The last song you listened to? Ifunaya

28. If the last person you spoke to was getting shot at, would you run? No, I would stand there and smile

29. If you could punch one person right now, who would it be? Dinno

30. What is the closest object to your left foot? Lol hairspray

Back To School, Hisss, JK!

Sweet about me, nothing sweet about me, yeah. Hehehehe, don't mind me, it's a song.

Resumed sixthform college today, new form tutors, new faces new books, great! In love with one pair of shoes that my mum brought for me from Holland, wore them to school today and they were just clanking on the concrete, making such loud noises like clack clack clack, they're not even proper heels, more like kitten heels so it adds hardly any height. Introduction was a bore, not that I really needed it, more for the new students. Everyone looking fresh and cute, nice suits, yes, we have to wear suits at my school, no jeans, no casual, no nothing, actually, not 'no nothing', otherwise we'd be coming to school nakedh. There is now a new rule for the sixthform, we do not have to come to school until 10.30am every tuesday from now on, they did it so that students can use these early hours to have a nice educational breakfast, I'm sure a few of you did not get what I meant by that, no I do not mean breakfast as in cereal or yam and stew, I meant study, geddit? Rather happy about that, means that I can get some extra sleep, oops I mean studying done.

“Seeing much, suffering much, and studying much are the three pillars of learning”

Thursday, 4 September 2008


Just a few write ups I did whilst taking park in one literature 'game' on a forum I often contribute to, feel free to critisize.

Does murder have a color? Yes, I think it does, the color red, blood red, like trickles of blood, running down from a fresh cut wound, the type you get when you scrape your tender knee on coarse concrete, a mere paper cut or even a stab wound, not just from any knife, I’m not talking about the kind you’ll probably find in the kitchen amongst mum’s favorite stash of cutlery, those are just infants, I’m talking about the big boys. Something like an axe, a cold, hard axe, silver glistening fiercely like stars in the night, if it had not been for the numerous splurges of blood staining that precise area, your reflection would have been so clear. So sharp that even a razor could not compare, though not as powerful as Aoyagi Manor Museum’s collection of samurai swords, obviously not, but still effective.

Imaging the feeling, no, the feelings that will overtake your entire body having such a colossal monster smashed into your skull, like cutting into yam, though the consequences are not as gruesome. Mr. Murderer is your predator, you are the prey. You feel numb, you feel pain, you see red, you see blood, you feel death, this is murder.

Enchanting, the most ideal word to describe such the feeling which overtook me last night, overtook everyone, our bodies, our souls, our minds. The night was blissful, filled with beautiful bodies, moving and swaying to exotic rhythms which filled the atmosphere, together with cigarette smoke and the scent of expensive perfume. The air reeked of vodka, it was all new to me, my first time at a club, a real club, not one of the usual high school preppy dances filled with tango and maltina, where the boys manage to smuggle in their dad’s last pack of cigarettes and instantly think they’re cool just because they smoked a fag, what losers, I even managed to bag myself a fake id. It was all Funke’s idea, it was different and I loved it. The heavy sounds of music beat at my ear drums, it was as if I was in another world, a different realm, the music blew me away, such a thrill as my fragile body swung and swayed with the random bloke dancing beside me, our bodies entwined, a strong grip at my hips, yet gentle enough not to bruise me. I felt funky and alive, I felt wonderful.

The sexual tension within the room was killing, too evident, it felt good, it felt bad. For goodness sake I am not even 18 yet, sex is not supposed to occupy my mind, I should be thinking about books and school, yes, pi equals 3.14159265, oh but the feeling was magnificent, waves of ecstasy trickled down my body, like electricity, physics, I wanted to explode and this was only a dance, not even the real thing, but the dance was sexual, like a sexual healing, the erotic dance of zion, oh what am I saying, I’m such a freak.


So I've been thinking a lot lately and sex seems to constantly be occupying my mind. Not that I want to do it now, goodness gracious no, it's just that everywhere I turn, left, right, front, back center etc it's just THERE! So what is so 'great' about this thing everyone seems to be doing eh? I hear it brings you pleasure, I hear it brings you pain, it's even a contrast in itself sha and I'm just curious you know, like a cat and you know what they say, curiosity killed the cat, but they also say that the cat has 9 lives, meow, meow, meow!

But I won't let this 'curiosity' get the better of me, nah, the right time will most definately come with the right person, actually, I think I have found the 'right' person, ok that's strike one, but the right time is not yet here you see, so it doesn't balance, am I making sense to you?

Plus how old am I to be thinking about sex sha? When my foot no dey even touch ground for University, Kilode, tori oloun! Oya, make I go fetch my maths book, odabo jare!


There is a very important lesson to be learnt from this picture, can you grasp the message? I sure can.

He who laughs first shall end up with a penis in his mouth.

Pure genius, hehehehehe.

Speaking of drawings, here are some of my own 'manga' sketches, they're not the best but I tried.

Also, here is one sketch done by one of my sisters, she is 13 years old, I'm guessing she used pastels, I think it looks cute.

"Love is like war: Easy to begin but hard to end." - Anonymous

I like the use of oxymoron in that quote.