Friday, 28 November 2008

Jealous Partner Part 7 Snippet

This is not the full version o, just a snippet! Forgive me for any mistakes, I rushed it!

Yinka drew his long arms out around her in a warm embrace and pulled her closer towards his chest, “Omo kekere” he whisphered into her ears, Funke stuck her tongue out at him, into the air, “You see” he laughed, “Only babies do that” he gave a loud hiss and pinched her nose. “I’m not a baby jare” Funke hissed back and punched his leg, Yinka, burst out laughing, “Was that supposed to hurt?” He carried on laughing “Chei, baby mii, you’re so weak”.

She punched him again, this attempt was harder, or so she thought, her attempt only caused him to laugh even more, swiftly, Funke lifted up her arms, her fists clenched ready to blow him again, she was not fast enough as by the time her fists had swung only half way towards his knee, he had caught both arms and held onto her, twisting her arms back, she screeched, “YE! Fimisile jor! (Leave me please!)”

He was still laughing, “Jor! (Please!)” she pleaded, finally he let go, “So weak, ah ah”, both hands on his head, he shook his head in disappointment and tutted, whispering to himself, “So I will be marrying a baby?”, “Marrying tani? (Marrying who?)” she replied, “Iwo of course (You of course)”, “E mi? Who told you that I am marrying you? (Me? Who told you that I am marrying you?)” she pulled one crazy face, she was only joking of course but she just wanted to see his reaction, “I told myself, abi do you have a choice”, he yanked her bottom lip and twisted it gently.

“Of course I have a choice” she sat up abruptly to face him, “No you don’t” he grinned, he may have sounded like he was joking but he was damn serious and she knew it, she could not help but worry sometimes, as normal as any girl she enjoyed the attention, but too much of anything is not good, Yinka loved her she knew for sure but she always thought that he loved her a little too much, or was that even possible?

Friday, 21 November 2008

Oya, Kumole!

The school variety night is nearing, some friends and I are representing Africana with a dance.

The dance must be hot o, as in every part of my body must ache.

Tuesday, 18 November 2008

Nigeria, World's Safest Economy

A major boost was given to Nigeria’s quest for foreign investment inflow at the weekend as the country was named the least vulnerable economy in the world, according to a report, Global Economics, compiled by a team of experts from Merrill Lynch.

Merrill Lynch is one of the world’s leading financial management and advisory companies, providing financial advice and investment banking services.

More can be read here.

Now this is the sort of news we want to hear, not news of foolish villagers accusing their children of witchcraft. Naija, I hail you o.

Funny enough, I actually went to one Meryll Lynch seminar, not too long ago, free food and drink, even alcohol sha, but I just stuck with my coke, that was enough to satisfy me.

Here I am with Mishal Husain, Pinky Lilani OBE, The Rt Hon Tessa Jowell MP, Princess Zahra Aga Khan and a few students from my business/economics class.

Click the thumbnail for a clearer view.

Saturday, 15 November 2008

Are You More Faithful Than A Monkey?

I was discussing with one lecturer of mine and the topic turned to talks of testicles (His idea, not mine). So anyway sha, he told me that apparently, chimpanzees, gorillas and human’s testicle sizes are the size that they are for a reason and that basically, out of all three species, chimpanzees are the most promiscuous, human's follow behind and gorillas are the last.

SCIENTISTS claim to have discovered the reason that men’s testicles are the size that they are: it’s all to do with the infidelity of our female ancestors.

A study of the evolution of sperm has revealed that the average human female does anything but stand by her man: like many other primates, she is not at all averse to promiscuity if she can get away with it.
Research by a team at the University of Chicago, led by Bruce Lahn, suggests that men are more prone to stray than women, but the notion that human females long for nothing but a stable, monogamous relationship with Mr Right is wrong.

The study, published today in the journal Nature Genetics, examined the evolution of male sperm among 12 species of primate, including human beings. Sperm is useful for the investigation of a species’ sexual practices in the distant past, as its characteristics are largely determined by mating patterns.

In promiscuous species, such as chimpanzees, competition for mating privileges does not end with sex: once inside a partner’s body, sperm must often battle those of a rival to be the one that fertilises the egg. In order to maximise their chances of fatherhood, male chimpanzees have evolved huge testicles and sperm counts for their body size.
Among gorillas, however, females mate only with a dominant male, who collects a harem that will not entertain the idea of sex with a rival until he has beaten the alpha male in a fight. In this polygynous system, a male can be virtually certain that no one else has copulated with his partners — and thus gorillas’ testicles are tiny.

Human testicles are somewhere in between, suggesting that while women are nothing like as promiscuous as female chimps, neither are they as faithful as the female gorilla.

It is likely that our female ancestors cheated on their spouses often enough to leave men with room for doubt about their paternity.

“In species with promiscuous females, there’s more selective pressure for the male to make his semen competitive,” Dr Lahn said. “It’s similar to the pressures of a competitive market place, [where] competitors have to constantly change their products to give them an edge over their rivals — whereas, in a monopoly, there’s no incentive to change.”
Making more sperm is not the only way of boosting a male’s chances of fertilising an egg. If his partner might be cheating on him, he can improve his prospects by producing sticky semen that coagulates in the vagina, creating a “chastity belt” that stops rival sperm from getting past and his own sperm from leaking out. The theory suggests that the more promiscuous the species, the stickier the semen. It seems that human beings have a similar viscosity of semen to orangutans.
Source: Here

Ehen, so do you agree with this theory or not?

Waiting for your answers.

Thursday, 13 November 2008

Sweetie Pie Pie!

THIS IS MY SOOONG! Although it's in one Ghanaian language and I don't know what the hell they are saying.

Wednesday, 12 November 2008

The Greedy Girl (Hausa Folk Tale)

Once there was a greedy girl. She would eat anything. She would eat cows, dogs - she would even eat the earth from under your feet. One day, her parents decided that they had had enough ;'Go away', they said. 'You are too greedy. We don't want you anymore.'

The girl went to see her best friend. 'My parents have told me to go away. Come with me.' 'OK,' said her best friend, and off they went. They walked along the road, out into the forest. At a bend in the road, they met seven dogs, jumping at them and barking. The greedy girl eat them. Then she went into the jungle. When she came back, she could no longer speak. All she could do was bark. Like a dog.

The two girls walked on. They came to a river ; on the other side of the river was a city. They crossed the river and entered the town. The king saw them coming. "Ah," he said, "that is a very beautiful girl. I must marry her." So he did. His Prime Minister married the girl's friend.

The king was very pleased with his new wife, but he wished she could speak instead of barking like a dog. He called all the witch-doctors of the kingdom, but none of them could do anything to help. So then he decreed that all the women of the kingdom would come one morning to the city square, and there they would pound millets together until the sky shook. At this, the greedy girl's friend went to find her. "Come with me," she said. They went back upon the road that they had arrived on, back over the river and into the jungle, until they came to the bend where the girl had eaten the dogs. "Follow me," said the friend, and they went into the jungle, far into the jungle, until they came to hut.

An old woman lived in the hut. When she saw the greedy girl, she took a big stick, and told her to offer her back. Then she beat the girl. "Whap" went the stick, and one of the dogs jumped out of the girl's mouth. "Whap" went the stick again, and another dog jumped out. The old woman hit her seven times with the stick, and seven times a dog jumped out of her mouth. After that, she could speak again.

The two girls went back to the city. They arrived just as the women were gathering in the square. "I must be quick", said the greedy girl, and ran to her room. There she put on her most beautiful jewels. When she emerged from the palace into the square, the sun said "Oh - you are so beautiful! Shall I hide my face?" "Don't be stupid", said the girl. "If you do that, noone will see me. Stay where you are." So the sun stayed. The earth said "Oh - you are so beautiful. Shall I move away from beneath your feet?" "Don't be stupid," said the girl. "If you do that, I shall not be able to walk down to the king. Stay where you are." So the earth stayed.

The king saw his young wife walking towards him, and he was astounded by her beauty. "Oh," he said, "you are so beautiful. I will make you my first wife." "Hmmm," said the girl. "Where there are many, the one will be envied." "You're right," said the king. So he had all his other wives' heads cut off, and he and the girl lived happily ever after.

Tuesday, 11 November 2008


Ok people, so this is like my first time of writing a 'sexified' story, though it is not much, abeg, don't laugh at my 'lack of knowledge' on the art giving blowjobs, they never taught it to us at school.


Dedicated to the lovely talesandtallies.

Funke was now kneeling on the floor, shoulders hunched and her soft round yansh resting on her calves as she watched him unbuckle his belt, she had given him a blowjob a couple of times before, it was basically a substitute for the many times she had refused him sex, no big deal, at least it was not intercourse.

As soon as he was done with his belt, his trousers were next, pulling them down to his ankles, he parted his long bare legs and began to fiddle with his boxers, not taken them off but pulling the top part down giving his dick enough space to let loose. It sprung up immediately, like a yoyo it bounced around, so full of life, or cum. Yinka caught a hold of it and noticed that his babe’s eyes were glued to it, literally, “Oti fe suck abi?(You want to suck isn’t it)” he laughed at her.

Her breathing became heavier, her lips slowly parting unknowingly, her eyes still fixated on the wonderful big cock. She was salivating, tongue withering within her mouth like a worm, she took a hard bite at her bottom lip, eyes still intense and hands shaking like a leaf in the wind. Yinka watched as she displayed this act, he could not help but chuckle. Funke was so focused on his dick that she did not hear him laugh, he was enjoying the ‘show’ sha, he liked the way she had bitten her lip, her silk black hair was in a mess and he could see the outline of her perky big boobs within her top, material clinging her breasts and buttons holding on for dear life. Her nipples were poking through the material, sprung out like bullets, a sign that she was horny, her nipples always hardened like that when she was ‘in the mood’.

Stinkingly flithy thoughts now ran through his mind like athletes, his dick was even harder now, he stretched out his arms to pull her frail body closer, running his fingers through her hair. Abruptly, Funke snapped out of her whole ecstasy faze, shaking her head she turned her gaze away from his penis, she was embarrassed. “Hmm…I don’t really feel like it” she whispered whilst crawling backwards on her knees, trying to stretch out her top so as to create air for her breasts to breathe.

It was a big lie, who was she trying to deceive? Really and truly her body was aching her, the human body is a funny machine, physically, she could not wait to pounce on his dick, in her current horny state that is, she just wanted to see how far she could stretch him, especially in his current state, a very naughty girl she was. She was still crawling back, though she had not gotten far before he had grabbed onto her arms and hauled her back, the grip he had on her was rather tight causing her to shake her arms about to relieve herself of the small pains. “Tell that to the birds” he replied, again stretching his arms out and aiming for her nipples, just one touch caused electric sparks to dart through her body, her panties now soaking wet, she rubbed her thighs together.

Funke lifted her hands and grabbed onto his dick, catching Yinka by surprise, he gave a big grin, mischievous. Rubbing his cock up and down with the palms of her hands she now bent her head to lick the head of his penis. Her hands were now folded around it, stroking gently causing the foreskin on his rod to slide, she licked it again, tongue wrapped around the head like a snake, or a lollipop, whichever.

Opening her mouth wider, with the help of Yinka’s hand, her head was bent even further so as to allow easier access into her mouth, salivating on his pole, she tightened the grip on it with her lips, though not even half way she sucked on it hastily like a pro. Releasing her left hand from its position, she played with his balls, gently, her head bobbing up and down on his dick like a doll’s, her sucking noises were loud. At present, Yinka’s head was bent back, his eyes shut tight trying to savor the sweet moment, he let out a few groans but only quietly.

He brought his head back up in order to look at his babe, watching the top of her head as it bounced up and down, gently he pushed her head down even lower, he knew she would not be able to take all of him but the more the better. Again, he started fiddling with her hair, his right hand stroking the back of her neck causing her to moan as she sucked him off. “Urghh..…I’m gonna cum baby” Yinka groaned at her, moments later, "Shit...", Funke was not at all excited at the thought of his cum floating in her mouth, plus she had heard from a few friends that it wasn’t exactly the tastiest thing, immediately, she withdrew from his cock, watching him spew himself all over the floor, “Thank God it isn’t carpet” she thought to herself, he was still groaning, finally he stopped, giving her a huge smile and a peck on the forehead, “Baby, you were great” he said, she smiled back at him. “Oya, now it’s your turn”, he was grinning, “My turn for what?” she was confused, “You know na”, he was till grinning, she really didn’t.

“Come baby”, he pulled her to the couch, “I wan chop your toto”, “My what!?” she screamed, this was not the first time he had offered to give her head, he had always said that most girls would beg for it so why was she complaining, well, she was not ‘most girls’ and again, she refused. “Haba baby mii, you will like it na", he started playing with her shorts, impatiently, undoing the buttons, Funke slapped his hands off, “Chop ko” she hissed, “If you are hungry, go and get food from the kitchen”, she was serious, her nose in the air as she crossed her arms like a toddler. Yinka burst out laughing, “Don’t worry jare”, he was still laughing, “One day, I go chop dat your pussy well, naughty girl”.

Randomania And Facebook Fraudsters

No classes tommorow, happy days! Or, happy day, so I can just chill with my baby. Parents have been pissing me off, sometimes they just don't know when to stop sigh.

Going 'laser quest' on saturday for a friend's birthday celebration, we get to shoot eachother in a blackout dark place with laser guns, sweet, it'll be just like paintball, only less painful, ouch. We're going at night, I think, guys vs the 'chics', should be interesting.

You people have really motivated me to carry on with my 'Jealous Partner' story, at first, it was just something to do whilst I was bored, but now, you got me writing up part 6 during one of my lectures, I'm a disgrace, lol, so, who do you prefer? Yinka or Funke? So fun mi o!

Part 6 will be out soon, dedicated to the lovely talesandtallies, mwah.

Lmao, picture of the day, I'm sure a good majority of you can relate with this pic, abi? Stop lying jor.

Reading my newspaper today, came across an article talking about fraud on facebook, as soon as I saw it, the country 'Nigeria' popped into my had, low and behold, after reading a few lines on, guess which country's name I saw? Was not relly suprised to be honest, infact, in a way, I almsot expected such a thing to happen. Naija, you are just not serious, oma se o.

Just a snippet of the article.
Fraudsters send messages to the compromised user's friends claiming they are in trouble overseas and asking them for cash.

Online security experts have warned that cyber criminals are using more sophisticated methods – including social networks – as web users wise up to traditional email frauds.

The latest scam came to light after Karina Wells received a Facebook message from one of her friends saying he was stranded in Lagos, Nigeria, and needed $500 for a ticket home.

You can read the rest here.

Monday, 10 November 2008


Ehen my peoples my peoples, forgive me for any typos, mistakes etc, could not be bothered to read it through hehehehe.

Oga Danny, this one is for you o.

She could sense the mixed feelings of anger and disappointment coming from him, after the few minutes of lying on top of her, eventually he gave in and climbed off of her, grumbling to himself, his penis still rock hard and geared up for action, but obviously he would not be getting ‘any’ tonight, not that he hardly ever did, how was he coping sha?

Funke had only ever agreed for him to make love to her twice throughout their whole relationship and even those past sessions were a challenge, he could not understand her, she should be begging for more, all his past girlfriends and fuck buddies would sell both arms just for even a taste of what he had to offer, Yinka was not a bragger but when it came to the arts of womanology and sex, he was a pro, A++ student for that matter, he knew how to make a woman feel good and would always leave them begging for more, where did this Funke of a girl come from? ‘Chai’ he would often utter to himself, ‘Mo gbe o! This girl wants to kill me…’.

It was not that Funke did not enjoy Yinka’s touch, infact, she loved it, it was just that she had always promised to herself that she would not lose her virginity until she was married, she had vowed to herself. But then Yinka came along and she lost total control, she fell hard. She did not want to make out that those two nights with him were mistakes, although in a way they were, she would always cherish what they did together, but she was trying to ‘renew’ her vow and she really needed her man to understand that.

Funke was still seated on the couch, she had neatened herself up and started to chew her bottom lip gently whilst staring at the floor, trying her best to avoid eye contact with Yinka, waiting for his outburst. He was standing in front of her, both hands on his head, his broad shoulders stretched, he knew she was trying to avoid looking at him, “You this girl ehn”, gently, he nudged her foot with his own, laughing slightly. She was surprised, is that all he was going to say? She breathed a sigh of relief, fiddling with her hair she continued on with her lip chewing. “Ok so baby mii, what are we going to do about Yinka jr over here?”,It took her about 10 seconds to realize what he was talking about, one confused look plastered on her face until she finally realized.

“Urm…urm..” she stuttered, she could not help but take a glance at his crotch, was he carrying a snake in there or what? D’banj’s ‘Anaconda’ suddenly started playing in her head causing her to giggle. Her man had been heavily blessed with one big…..she stopped herself and giggled even more, “see yeye thoughts occupying my mind” she thought. “Can’t you just leave it like that?” she replied, he gave her one of his numerous dirty looks, “Kilon soro? (What did you say?)” he replied back, bending his head down to get closer to her, he had heard her perfectly o, he just wanted her to dare to repeat what she had just said, craze girl.

Again, she spoke, “I said can’t you just leave it like that?”, “And I say you must be out of your mind”, her eyes widened at his comment, “What do you mean?” she asked him. Lifting his head back up, he stretched his long arms into the air and cracked his knuckles, “Ah ahn Yinka na” she bellowed at him, “Stop doing that with your hands, you know it causes arthritis”, he did it again, this time on purpose, “Who told you that myth?”, he was amused at her ignorance and began laughing to himself, “Myth ke? A friend of mine told me”, she sounded so sure of herself, it made him laugh even more, “Bullshit” replied Yinka, “Bull kini?” funke asked.

Yinka ignored her question, walked over to the couch and sat next to her, his long strong arms on her shoulders, he began rubbing his nose on her cheek, “Ehen baby, so like I said, wetin you wan do so that my JT is satisfied?”, she fiddled with her shorts, trying to pretend as though she had not heard his question, he smirked, “How about a blowjob?” he asked, swiftly, she turned her head so that she was facing him, shocked, “Eh ehn don’t give me that look jare, since you no wan gree for me to make love to you a blowjob isn’t too bad, abeg, body no be wood, after you don lead me on sef”, “Hmmmm” she hummed, still facing him, “Hmmm kini?” he asked, “Madam tease, oya, sha se kia (hurry up)”, wrapping his arms around her and lifting her up effortlessly as if she was just a stick, he positioned her on the ground and unbuckled his belt.

Music Is My Hot Hot Sex

Sold my old Ipod, it is broken and the guarantee stuff has run out but a friend insisted on buying it, why? I don't know and to be honest, I don't really care, money is money jare.

So I want to get a new one, AGAIN, sigh, I had the old ipod classic 30Gb and now I want the ipod classic 80gb, black version, hopefully by the end of this month, until then I guess I will just have to stick to listening to my phone.

Anyways sha, here are my top ten songs for the moment, whether they are old or new.

1. I know - Jay Z

2. She got a donk - Soulja Boy (Cracks me up)

3. Mrs officer - Lil Wayne Ft Bobby Valentino

4. Be the one - The Ting Tings

5. Stuntin' like my daddy - Lil wayne ft Birdman

6. Daga albashi - Zainab Idris and Sani Danja

7. Idi nla - Da Grin Ft Lala

8. Oh no - Mos Def

9. Logiligi - Mzbel

10. Tingele - Tinny

Sunday, 9 November 2008


Urrggh, ok here's part 4 of my story, enjoy.

Yinka’s hands continued to maneuver their way through her silk hair, at the same time, he planted soft kisses on the nape of her neck, she was quivering, eyes shut tight. From her neck he turned to her lips, Funke’s breathing became heavy, he began to nibble gently on her bottom lip, gentle suddenly turned to rough as he directed her back to towards the couch, his whole body on top, covering every inch of her, she was like an ant compared to him.

For about 10 minutes they lay there playing a passionate game of tongue wrestling, Yinka was obviously more experienced as his tongue seemed to be doing most of the work, his hands now cupping her soft and tender breasts, squeezing and caressing them, Funke gave a loud groan as he directed his fingers to her nipples, gently pulling and rotating, her eyes were still closed shut and she was still breathing heavily, obviously in a world of ecstasy, she gave a loud moan.

Yinka’s eyes were fully wide open, he grinned at the sounds she was making, he only wished that he could see her facial expressions, just that nepa don take light and he really could not be assed to go and switch the generator on, he loved to please his babe, really, he did. After playing with her breasts, his focus was now on her shirt, he started to pull at it roughly, not even bothering to undo the buttons, impatiently ripped it open, he was like an animal, though not too violent, he really needed to release himself, he had been horny all day and Funke did not seem to be helping it at all, it seemed as though literally anything she did would turn him on, he really needed to make love to his babe and bad.

Funke could feel him tugging at her clothes, he had managed to remove her top, exposing her full breasts which were half hanging out of her bra, he now turned to her shorts, tearing impatiently at them like a savage and still ignoring the fact that buttons were put there for a reason, she began to squirm underneath him. She did not mind the smooching and caressing but she certainly did not want it to go too far, as in, the main thing. “Yinka…”, she let out a slight whisper, it was as if he could not hear her, “Yinka…”, again she whispered but only this time a bit louder, yet again, no reply from her man, he was too focused on eating her body whole, literally. “YINKA!” she bellowed, “Ehen ehen, what is it baby?” he replied, “Please Yinka, I don’t want to”, she gave a worried expression whilst saying this, “You don’t want to kini”?, It was either he was pretending not to understand, or he really did not understand, Funke knew he understood o. She spoke again, “You know na, I don’t want to have sex”, she turned her head as to avoid facing him, preparing for his reaction, she held her breath.

He thought that maybe he was dreaming, maybe he had not heard her properly, he was bursting, literally felt like he could explode and his babe was telling him this rubbish. He was still on top of her, staring deeply at her face just to see if she was joking, he hoped that she was joking o, “Omo, you better be joking” he thought to himself, “Abi, kilode!?”.

“Baby mi, kilode na? Am I hurting you”? he asked her, he looked confused, speechless and pissed off. “No no no, you’re not hurting me…”, “Then what is it!?” he did not even allow her to finish her sentence, “I just don’t want to…”, he was speechless, “Which kain yeye reason be dat?” he thought to himself, he gave a loud hiss and spoke firmly, “Look Funke, if you don’t give me a better excuse than that crap you just gave me I swear to God I’m not getting off of you”, he was fuming, she hated being threatened “Yinka! I’m not joking o, what do you mean you won’t get off I said I want to stop! Or do you want to rape me!?” she spat back, she continued to squirm underneath him, his full body weight was crushing her own and she was unable to move freely, he was aware of this but ignored her movements and comment, “Yinka, ejor na!” she continued on with her pleading.

Saturday, 8 November 2008


My friend's boyfriend locked her in his house.

He actually locked her in his house! As in put the latch on the door and physically prevented her from leaving his house, pushed her, held her etc and you know some guys are too strong for their own good (apparently, this one was not even the first time), oh my goody goody gosh, as much as I found it kind of funny when she told me (sorry o), this is very serious, I was aware that they had been having a lot of arguments etc etc the usual, but this one, haba.

The guy lives on his own, quite far away from her own house. He would always expect her to do the travelling from her house to his, wouldn't even meet her halfway and when she refused, he would start to get all angry on her and start on with his many complaints.

She actually told him to his face that he was a pshycho, the guy went completely bonkers on her, oma se o.

She has dumped his sorry ass, good riddens to bad rubbish.

Just hope that he doesn't do anything too crazy, met him once when we had finished with our major exams, she brought him along during our 'celebration', he seemed nice, hmmm, well I guess they all do at first.

Friday, 7 November 2008

Se Le Soro Yoruba?

I'm a sucker for a dude who can speak Yoruba FLUENTLY, too me, it's the most sweetest language that exists, speak it and I'll love you forvever and forever and forever!

Wednesday, 5 November 2008

Am I A Fool?

I was called a fool for my willingless to keep my virginity until marriage. Yes people, as much as I do kind of blab on about sex related things and make 'dirty comments' on my blog, my honeypot is still intact.

Fool ko, apparently virginity is 'overrated' and 'times have changed', ok and so? I'm not doing it for anyone but myself, not that still being a virgin is anything really special to be honest, just that some people are in such a rush to lose it and when they come across someone who believes in keeping it, they assume that religion is the main reason and that you are only doing it because you want to be seen as the 'good girl' etc, that's not always true jare *big smile*

I am not a fool, abeg lmao.


Like I said before, don't crucify me for all the typos and mistakes o! Abeg!

The drive to his house was silent, the only thing that could be heard was the sound of the wind blowing in the atmosphere as well as the occsasional sound of car horns. There was not as much traffic as usual, Yinka was very pleased about this. “Baby mi, se wa ok?(My baby, are you ok?), Why are you so quiet?” he asked, still driving the car, he was worried about his girl. She was exhausted, sleepy and slumped in her seat. Funke turned her head to him and nodded softly, giving a slight smile.

He could see that she was almost sleeping, “Se o fe sun?” (Do you want to sleep?) he asked, “You better not sleep o”, he gave a wide smile which showed his deep dimples, cute, she thought to herself, he was a bit too attentive on her, not keeping his eyes on the road, “Yinka na! Keep your eyes on the road jor, abi you want to kill us!?” Her eyes were wide open now, he burst out laughing, “Ehhn, don’t you want to die with me?” Eyes still not 100% focused on the road like it should have been. “Yinka! Ejor!” she was no longer slumped in her seat, smacking her man and bellowing for him to “Stop all this rubbish!”

He stopped eventually but still continued laughing, he sounded crazy she thought, he was crazy. Funke slumped back into her original position on the seat, Yinka turned on the radio, the song ‘Ololufe’ began playing, “This song is for you baby mi” he smiled at her, she looked back at him and blew him a faint kiss, her mood had suddenly lifted and she no longer felt angry at him anymore. She continued to stare as he sang the song, her guy was fine o, too fine and she could not control the way her body reacted to him, to his smile, his touch, even though she always tried to hide it. “You too like to form” he would always say to her, the last thing she wanted was for him to know the affect he had on her, but he knew, she knew he knew, ‘damn you these human emotions’ she would often joke with herself.

He loved to play with her, make her lose total control, it was like a hobby to him, he knew how to use his charm well, a real Casanova. But he only had eyes for one girl, Funke Idris, Funke baby, his baby, the girl was beautiful, just that she was too stubborn, way too stubborn, “Don’t worry jare” he thought, “You have met you match”.

Finally, they arrived at Yinka’s house, he lived alone and often tried to get Funke to move in with him but she would always refuse and give him the most flimsy excuses he thought. He currently had a good job, nice house and constantly tried to drum into her head the fact that he would take care of her so why not move in? His words seemed to be falling on dead ears as she refused to budge, stubborn girl, “Iwolomo” (You’re on your own) he would say.

Funke was still in university, 19 years of age and a law student. Yinka was 5 years older than her, a graduate, specialising in Economics, he had had his fair share of fun during his time in Uni and knew exactly what students could and would get up to, one of the many many reasons he was so protective over her, he was like a hawk, Funke just thought it was an obsession. They had planned to get married but were waiting for Funke to graduate, well, Yinka was, he wanted to get married to her immediately, she had said that she wanted to get a good job first, settle down, Yinka was just too impatient and as much as e would always call her stubborn, he was even worse.

As soon as they entered the house, Yinka would not keep his hands to himself, she freed herself from his grip stood up from the couch. “Nisuru Yinka, Nisuru!” (Take it easy Yinka, Take it easy) Funke cried. “Baby mi, I am dying here, haba” he replied, “Come, see what you are doing to me”, Her eyes fell down to his crotch, it was like a mountain “Nawa o” she laughed, “Don’t blame me for this abeg, what have I done?” she carried on giggling.

“See baby, if you know what is good for you, you better just come here and finish off what you started” he sounded dead serious, “Oya”, he stood up swiftly and began to kiss her neck, gripping her small waist, his 6’3 stature hovering over her own stature of 5’8, gently gripping her small frame he began to grope her breasts. As much as she tried to fight it, Funke was loving every minute of this, she tried to resist a little but he knew she only forming and without much effort, pulled her back, her head laid on his hard chest, he began to stroke her hair.

Tuesday, 4 November 2008


Please abeg, don't crucify me for the typos and mistakes o, I was rushing.

“Hiding ke?” Funke had had enough, without a second thought, she grabbed unto her bag and proceeded to stomp out of the car, it was just a shame that Yinka was a step ahead of her, as usual. He knew his girl all too well, as if he could read her mind, Yinka rapidly locked every door in the car, just with the flick of a button. “You are not going anywhere”, his voice was calm, he sounded serious, he was serious, serious and mad. Funke gave a loud groan and sulked in her seat.

“Now, why are you always trying to avoid answering your phone around me? Kilode!?” Funke kept silent and stared out into the street, she could not believe that Yinka was acting like this, she had already told him many times without number, again and again that she was not avoiding anything and that she did not even know what he was constantly on about, this guy was just too paranoid.

“So you can’t talk abi?” Yinka cut into her thoughts, again, she kept silent, she really could not be bothered to answer him, what was the point? Same routine, all the time, she would tell him that she was not up to anything, he just loved to accuse her of the silliest things, gosh he could be so annoying. Yinka was getting really pissed off with her silence, “Funke! Funke!” he bellowed in her ear, he was mad furious and still waiting for her reply.

Finally, she spoke, “I want to go home”, “You must be bloody joking” he replied, “Look Yinka, if you don’t wanna take me home, let me go and I will fine my way on my own, haba!” she was so frustrated, but what was she thinking? It was too dark to be trailing around on her own, what if she was kidnapped, or even worse, raped for that matter? “No jare, I’ll take you I’ll take you" he moaned "But you will come and stay at my house, ok?" “Your house ke”? she asked, a troubled tone to her voice, she began to fiddle with her skirt. “Or will your roommates be missing you that much?” he asked, she did not want to say no because she knew he would start getting moody again, but still. She was speechless.

“But, but...” Funke began to stutter, “No buts!” Yinka interrupted her, “I just want to spend the night with my girl, or is that a crime baby mi?” he sounded like a child, “Or do you have any plans?” his tone of voice changed rapidly, he sounded jealous, bitter. He knew full well that she did not have any plans but still waited to hear her excuses for not being able to come with him, she could not think of any, damn. There were no lectures for her to attend tomorrow and he knew it. Why had she told him? She felt like slapping herself. Yinka stared at her whilst she was deep in thought and gave a big grin, “This girl will not kill me o, Olorun ma je”, he started the engine.

Monday, 3 November 2008


I was bored people, it's not much and I kinda rushed it but still.

“You are full of so much shit Funke, do you know that?” barked Yinka, it was very unlike him to shout but Funke had stretched him well past his limit, he could not take it anymore, the constant refusing to pick up her phone whenever he was around and whenever she did, she was so hesitant about it. He had also seen her around with this guy a few times, but she would constantly say that there was nothing going on between them, they were only ‘friends’, abeg, tell that to the birds he thought, abi was he born yesterday?

“Ah, well thank you very much Yinka” answered Funke, as usual her reply reeked of sarcasm, she hated it when her boyfriend, got all moody on her, he did it so frequently that it had become an insanely irritating habit to her, why was this guy so paranoid? Can’t a guy and a girl just be friends? She thought, not even noticing that she was actually voicing her thoughts, silently, but not silently enough as he had managed to hear what she was whispering and even lip read as he watched her intensely. “No they cannot” he replied bitterly, hands on the wheel although he was not actually driving, the car engine was not even on and they were parked in one Mr Bigg's car park.

His tone of voice suddenly changed, he was like a desperate child “Look Funke baby, why are you doing this to me?” Funke was confused, totally puzzled at what he was saying, “What are you talking about? Doing kini?” she replied. “Will you stop acting as if you don’t know what I am talking about! Haba”, Funke was baffled, “Ah ahn, what have I done this time?” she cried. Her question infuriated him even more, one thing about his girl that really pissed him off was when she played dumb and now was not the time or the place “Funke, I can’t stand it when I see you with those other boys, you never pick your phone when we are together and it seems as if you are hiding something from me”.

Everything was silent, for about 10 seconds until Funke suddenly burst out with laughter, “Oh my…” but before she could finish the sentence, he had already interrupted, “THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, ah ahn, why don’t you ever take me seriously?”, she continued on with her giggles, “Which boys are you talking about?” she managed to get out whilst still laughing like a maniac, “Oh you mean Femi? He is just my classmate” she had finally stopped laughing, “I don’t know why you are too je…” Yinka had cut her off again, “Jealous abi?, why won’t I be jealous, when my girl is busy playing ashewo games with other men”.

It was now Funke’s turn to be angry, how dare he call her a prostitute!? If anything, she was the complete opposite and Yinka knew that, she really could not understand where this attitude of his was coming from, she was fed up. “Look Yinka, I don’t appreciate you calling me names, you are obviously angry about something so please calm down first, maybe we can talk about it later”, “Later ke? Why can’t we talk now? What are you hiding”?

Saturday, 1 November 2008


Ahurum gi naya!
Mo ni ife re!
Ina son ki!

The person know's who they are o.

Hugs, kisses, licks and focks!!!! (personal joke people)

dot dot dot dot

So the job interview went well, I think, I hope. Hmmph. I did a great job at sucking up too, a GREAT job. The manager was so lovely and sweet.

When I got there, I saw a few girls from my school, did not know that I was actually up against one of them because she was also having an interview, though she's in the lower year.

I must crush her dammnit, I must.

The manager said that I will find out by next week if I got the job that she will call me, If I didn't, a 'regret' letter will be sent home, Olorun ma je again and again.