Saturday, 29 August 2009

Motunrayo Part 8

Part 6 and 7 are in the posts before ;)

Motunrayo at first had refused to admit it, but her relationship with Akin seemed to have changed in some subtle way she could not understand, she seemed to be growing warmer towards him, less arguments, she felt less hostile plus she conformed a lot more to his requests, something she hated herself for doing, she had always promised herself she would never allow such a thing to happen, at first she blamed it on her condition, too much hassle would not be good for her in such a state, arguments would only cause her added stress, she was too tired to quarrel, too young for all the strain, Motunrayo thought back to her vicious encounter with Akin and was bitter suddenly, her so called lack of discipline troubled her, she saw herself as a failure, cursing herself in her head she sighed silently.

It was one thing that she had allowed the change in their relationship to happen and another thing that Akin could possibly know all along, this would give him a great opportunity to use her inner weakness as an advantage, her breaths became heavy, perspiration forming on her forehead as her hands shook restlessly, did he know? She tried to consult herself, of course he knew! He had known right from the beginning and had done everything he could to make it happen, constructed well from all the small actions and words, she felt like a puppet, sick to her stomach her teeth gritted unknowingly, no more tugging and pulling, the strings needed to be cut, she had to be released.

Agitated, Motunrayo’s body felt hot, her husband was out and there was not much water left in the bucket to use, she shrugged and decided to settle for the little water remaining, a little while later, Motunrayo was still in the stall, as she bathed, she was suddenly aware that Akin had returned to the hut, she was still inside the little bath stall behind their home and feared that her absence in the hut would cause Akin to search for her in the stall, hurriedly she used the last of the water.

Akin was now aware of his wife’s absence within the hut and headed towards the bath stall where he met her wrapping herself, hair and body dripping with water he watched as soft droplets of water dripped down her long legs and chest.

Motunrayo glanced at him, she did not know why she was so embarrassed being seen in this situation, it was not the first time he’d seen her like this, nether less she blushed, a hot sensation burning in her cheeks, she looked down, trying to hide her now quivering hands behind her back. Akin was amused, eyebrows gently raised as he approached her, she scuttled back swiftly and turned around. “Motun, look at me.” “I don’t want to” Akin drew in a deep breath and touched her gently, she flinched at his touch and he put both arms around her, holding her against him he bent his head, nuzzling his nose in her hair and breathing in her scent, he closed his eyes. “You smell delicious” he said.

For a few seconds, Motunrayo entranced in his tight grip, closed her eyes allowing herself to melt into his strong arms, he bent and kissed her neck causing a fiery sensation to run through her spine, causing her to lose her breathe.

Suddenly she felt weak, faint droplets of sweat ran down her forehead and then she snapped, “Fimisile! ” she cried, pushing herself aggressively against his hard chest, caught off guard he loosened his grip, he watched her intensely as she pulled herself together, trembling violently.

Motunrayo Part 7

Montunrayo’state was becoming even more evident as the many months passed, she glowed wonderfully, her stomach as round as ever, her hair grew faster and thicker, often packed in a large bun on her head, curly strands laid untidily on her forehead, regardless it shone a brilliant black. Moreover, her breasts had also gone through a dramatic change, much to Akin’s delight, maybe he’d get her pregnant more often.

A month or two later and he’d be holding his child, his own child, a son he’d hoped for, desperately yearned for and he was without doubt not one to allow anything whatsoever to come in between him and his craving, nothing stopped him from getting Motun, a baby was just the next step, no, a son, oh how he wished for a son. As usual his wife was proving difficult, often refusing the meals he or anybody else would prepare for her, even if she did eat it was hardly enough, especially for a woman in her condition, he thought she spent way too much time outside, concerned as he was Akin had tried his best to make the hut as comfortable for her as he could, that should be good enough for her, what else could she want? But then it hit him. Finished with his cooking, he called for her, she was not in the hut so he trailed outside where she was slouched over the hut ledge, his broad shoulders tensed as his arms folded, and he stood hovering over her. At once she sensed his presence, Motunrayo sprung up immediately and stared at him, she read him like a book, irritation written all over him, he bit his lip obviously trying to control his fury, Motunrayo closed her eyes and waited for the attack.

The attack came at once. “Nice try Motun”, she was confused, squinting her eyes she asked what he meant, annoyed that she insisted on playing dumb he shook his head and sighed, she was baffled, ‘what on earth did this guy want?’ she thought. “You think I don’t know what you’ve been trying to do?” his voice was stern, “skipping meals, long lays in the sun, you really had me going for a minute” a sarcastic smile now plastered on his face, still puzzled she squeezed her face, trying to understand what he meant, then she realized. Motunrayo shot back immediately, she honestly did not know what he was talking about, the whole ordeal had just made her lose her appetite plus she truthfully found staying outside more relaxing, the sun did sometimes get to her but she found it better than being locked up inside, realizing how paranoid he was Motunrayo laughed in her head, she wondered what would happen if she just got up, walked towards him, put her arms around him and kissed him. Snapping out of her daydream, she realized Akin was still talking, she was able to pick up at the last of his rant, something about him being a hawk and her not kidding herself, not bothered to take him up on his threats, she ignored him and turned her head, waiting for the rant to end.

“Your food is ready Motun” he turned to enter the hut, “I’m not hungry” she replied, Akin left her sighing with relief, but shortly returned with the meal he had prepared for her, yam and palm oil. Cutting a piece of the yam he bent down beside her, holding the piece of yam to her lips, she swallowed hard, her throat dry “No thanks” she said wearily, “Eat something baby, you need all the strength you can get”, “I don’t want. . .” “Eat it.” Motunrayo bit her bottom lip, reluctant to eat the yam but eventually gave in and submissively ate the meal, though only part, Akin was satisfied enough to leave her be and ate the rest.

Motunrayo Part 6

Motunrayo was sick and tired of Akin telling her what she could and could not do all the time, constantly asking herself daily if this was what marriage was all about, she felt like a prisoner, a bird in a cage, she needed freedom, freedom from the hut, freedom from Akin. The baby was weighing her down, both physically and mentally, it sickened her to think that within her lay the seed of an absolute monster, she wondered what the baby would look like when born, would it have a mark? Possibly, considering the vicious way it was created, Motunrayo shivered. Giving birth to this child was her only way to freedom, as soon as she conceived, she would flee the hut, leaving Akin to take care of the baby, she had it all planned out, but the only problem was how? For one thing, Akin was like a hawk, forever watching her every move, it would be difficult, almost impossible to leave his sight and she could tell that he would be on an even closer watch out considering what had just happened some minutes ago with Niyi, she snapped out of her thoughts, her full attention now on her ‘Husband’.

He was now dividing the water he had just fetched into another set of buckets, Motunrayo stood leaning on the hut wall, arms crossed, and teeth gritted together, her eyes were like flames, they had been set alight by none other than Akin, how dare he tell her not to bring a friend to her home, even if today’s visit by Niyi had not been expected, in her mind, he was welcome to the hut anytime he wanted. She voiced this thought out, loud and clear. Akin ignored her, knowing full well that all she wanted was another quarrel, he could not be bothered quite frankly, not tonight. Finished with distributing the fetched water, he stood up, trailed towards the chair in the corner and seated himself down, his long legs stretched out, he kicked off his sandals, rubbing his feet together.

Motunrayo had now left her earlier position against the wall and was now walking towards the door exit, Akin raised himself up and asked her where she going, she told him that she needed a bit of fresh air, she’d been locked up in the hut all day and just needed space to breathe. Slightly uneasy, he allowed her to do as she wished, but agreed only if she left the door open, wide.

Motunrayo made her way towards the door, she slammed it hard behind as she stepped out, hissing in response to his silly requirement. He groaned, shaking his head as he too made for the door, but only to open it, when would this girl realize that stubbornness would not get her anywhere, but then again, it amused him and at the same time, it seemed that her determined and feisty attitude only cause Akin to want her more, he smirked, hands folded as he stared intently at his wife, trailing up and down in front of the hut, she glowed admirably, oh and the child, he could not wait for his wife to give birth.

But this was only the beginning, for his plan was to get Motunrayo pregnant yet again not too long after she would giving birth to the first child, it was the only way he could think of that would cause hindrance to her plans of leaving him, Akin could read her like a book, suspicious of the thoughts and plans she schemed in her head, he knew his wife well, all too well, he chuckled to himself as he made his way back inside.

It was best just to wait, he was getting used to this new found patient attitude of his, all thanks to his lovely wife.

Wednesday, 13 May 2009

Motunrayo Part 5

It's short but it's all I could think of for now :D

His eyes fixated on both his wife and the stranger seated on Motunrayo’s mat, Akin was stunned, mental pictures of Motunrayo and this stranger romancing in his own house during his absence flashed in his mind, fuming but still managing to keep his cool, gluing his eyes on the couple, he screwed his face and waited for a response. Niyi instantly shot up, not taking his eyes off Akin the whole time, he subsequently looked at Motunrayo who was still seated on the mat, her turned, eyes trailing the floor, she knew how Akin was feeling but in all honesty could not care less.

Annoyed by their lack of response, Akin asked who the stranger was, the question obviously directed at his wife but Niyi the one to answer. He told Akin that he was just a friend and had just come to visit Motunrayo and see how see was, stretching his hand out for a handshake, Akin rudely ignored his gesture and stared at him. Motunrayo spoke up, basically repeating what Niyi had told Akin, she lifted herself up stood close to Niyi. Evidently uncomfortable with the situation, Niyi announced that he would be leaving, to which Motunrayo immediately protested against, completely ignoring the presence of Akin within the room.

Intent on leaving, Niyi insisted, but promising to visit her another day, he left quietly, bidding farewell to both Akin and his wife. Immediately after his departure, she attempted to make her way into the kitchen, Akin warned her to stop where she was, asking, how dare she bring another man into their home? She told him that the man in question was her good friend, even way before she had met him and that she owed him no explanation for having a friend over, he hissed and told her she was wrong, she hissed back.

Akin trailed towards her, warning her that her stubborn behavior would not get her anywhere, she was clueless and asked him what he was on about, trying to prevent him from getting too close, she tried to walk away, he was now standing in front of her, she was blocked. He warned her not to ever in her life bring any man into his home again, challenging him, Motunrayo asked of what he would do if she did, Akin shrugged and muttered underneath his breath, telling her to just try it.

Friday, 8 May 2009

Motunrayo Part 4

With a baby now present in his wife’s womb, Akin was not as distressed as before concerning the chances of Motunrayo fleeing. At least if she did, it would not be as simple for her, the extra baggage would without doubt cause her hindrance. His unruly temper was also something that would need to be put under a leash for he would not allow himself to be provoked by Motunrayo, losing this baby was definitely not a risk Akin was willing to take, not again.

A depressed and irritated Motunrayo more often than not moped around her husband’s hut. Basically a shadow of herself, she was a ghost hovering in darkness, soaked in her own despair, the sight of Akin alone annoyed her and she snapped at him at every given opportunity. Akin handled her with patience, he appeared a composed and tolerating husband, enduring Motunrayo’s ill-mannered attitude daily, on the contrary, deep within, Akin was actually a bomb on the verge of exploding, for if not for the baby…

One day, an unexpected visitor had come to visit Motunrayo, whilst lying on her mat she had heard a gentle knock at the hut door, initially thinking that it was Akin returning from the stream, Motunrayo did not bother to answer, although it was very unlike Akin to knock but who else would be visiting? Her mother had paid a few visits but rarely ever and for this she was actually very grateful.

The visitor knocked again, increasing the pressure of their knocks at the door, obviously not convinced that nobody was at home. Motunrayo lifted herself and answered, asking who it was, the visitor replied, recognising the voice instantly her spirit was instantly raised. She opened the door and jumped, but only slightly for the weight of the baby had pulled her down.

The visitor had turned out to be Niyi, a close friend of Motunrayo’s, he had always secretly admired her but failed to express his true feelings, totally shattered at the sudden announcement of her wedding to Akin, there was nothing he could do. They had not been in contact since her marriage to Akin, she was not even able to explain to him what had happened, everything had happened so fast, too fast.

She did not like keeping secrets from him but she just could not bring herself to expose the disgusting truth that had formed her so called marriage. Motunrayo was ecstatic but at the same time, angry at him for not visiting much earlier, she had missed him very much. Niyi explained to her that he only wanted to give her time to settle down with her husband, he had missed her extremely too but was not too certain of how Akin would react if he had paid a visit, it was only now that he had summed up the nerve, Niyi apologized for his timid behavior.

Noticing the silence within the hut, Niyi asked of Akin’s whereabouts, she told him that he had gone out to fetch water and would return shortly. Slightly relieved, Niyi gave a heavy sigh of relief, Motunrayo could sense that her good friend was tense, concerned, she tugged at his arm, asking him if everything was ok, giving a slight smile, he assured her that everything was fine.
It had been such a long time since they had had a good chat, Motunrayo missed their times together, just the thought that both her and Niyi could have been somewhere else right now, gisting and laughing together as friends would caused her bitterness towards Akin to increase, she clenched her fists.

Since the wedding, Niyi never seemed to bump into Motunrayo around the village anymore, it was as if she did not even exist, Motunrayo stood before him smiling but the smile lacked that certain glow, this was not the normal and usual radiant Motunrayo he knew, he was concerned, But not one to interfere in the affairs of any couple, a married couple for that matter, Niyi kept his questions to himself.

Swiftly, Motunrayo trailed over to her mat, signaling for Niyi to follow her, he obliged, seating himself next to his friend. Just about to start the gist, the door opened and Akin entered the hut.

Thursday, 7 May 2009

A Perplex Mind

Bunked so many classes this week it's amazing, can't seem to able to learn anything there, I prefer independant studies quite frankly. The town library is now my new kitchen, where I chow down on as many textbooks as I can in preperation for the nearcoming examinations, wish me blessings, it aint luck I'm after.

Don't you hate it when people are so paranoid? You don't call them for like one minute and then they switch on your, conclude that you don't care about them, I need spaaaacccce. Love hate relationships seem to be attracted to me, like a powerful magnetic force, I love him but I hate him at the same time, another thing that seems to be attracted to me, the force of confusion. I need help.

So I created one thread on nairaland where I posted audio clips of me reading my stories, it actually made itself onto the front page and since then, blog traffic has been booming!

Another thing that has been booming? My hormones! Won't go into much detail about that but I'm sure you get the drift *wink wink*.

Tuesday, 5 May 2009


...being me at the moment. Stress isn't even the word, I need to come up with something even more advanced because I really feel like shaving my head now (yeah, that bad). It's a mixture, as in, not neccesarily just school and the likes but other things too, uneccesary things in fact and I'm stuck in the middle. Boohoo.

Sunday, 3 May 2009

Pastor Loses Wife To Richer Pastor

A pastor with the Redeemed Christian Church of God (RCCG), Israel Kehinde Ajayi, 40, has lost his wife, former Miss Anita Uzowuru, to pastor Godwin Mbamara of Rehoboth Covenant Bible Church, Olorunsogo, Mushin, Lagos.

P.M.NEWS learnt that the Kabba, Kogi State-born Ajayi and Anita, a nurse from Umudike Mbano, Imo state, were joined at the Federal Marriage Registry, Ikoyi, Lagos, on 15 February, 2008. Without the dissolution of the marriage with Ajayi, Anita again signed the dotted lines on Saturday, at 25/27, Olusoga Street, Mushin, when Rehoboth Bible Church organised a wedding for her and pastor Mbamara.

In an interview with P.M.NEWS, Ajayi said: “Anita said she cannot marry a wretched pastor like me who has no car. I understand the pastor she ran to owns a car. What made our relationship go sour was that Anita wanted us to travel overseas where she can practice as a nurse, whereas I insisted that she should have a child for me before we travelled.”

Ajayi said family friends informed him of Anita’s secret engagement to one pastor Mbamara, whom she actually married in Mushin, on 25 April. But at the last minute, the venue was changed from End-Time Army Church, Mushin, to 25/27, Olusoga Street, Mushin. Contacted before the Saturday marriage, Anita admitted she went to Ikoyi Marriage Registry with Ajayi in error because it was part of his condition to assist her to travel to London. But when he could not fulfil his part of the arrangement, she decided to forget about him.

“He told me I have to claim to be his wife so that he could take me to the embassy and introduce me to leaders of the RCCG. I tried as much as possible to satisfy his conditions to be able to embark on the overseas journey. “At a stage, he was extorting money from me. I cannot now remember how much he collected from me, but it could be up to N100,000. I deserted him when he was about to milk me dry and, of course, the travel plan failed,” Anita explained.

Rev. (Dr.) David Adetiloye, Senior Pastor of End-Time Army Church, who facilitated the meeting with Anita in his church, was not present during the interview. But she was accompanied by her pastor, Rev. Peter Daniel, who told P.M.NEWS that Anita regretted her mistake going into the relationship with Ajayi. P.M.NEWS, last Saturday, witnessed the wedding between Anita and pastor Godwin Mbamara, at the new venue. The hall was filled to capacity. The marriage was contracted by officials of Rehoboth Covenant Bible Church, led by Rev. Peter Daniel.

Evangelist Olu Olatinwo charged the couple with the theme: Sacrifice Of Love, quoting John 3:16 in an exhortation that received loud ovation from the sizeable audience. With just three items to fulfil the order of the wedding service, Rev. Peter Daniel fished out P.M.NEWS reporter from among the audience and handed him over to the policemen at the venue. The policemen intimidated, harassed and assaulted him. They seized his bag, searched him and after creating a rowdy scene at the front of the hall for about 30 minutes, arrested and took him to Area D Police Headquarters, Mushin.

At the station, the reporter managed to send a phone call to his editor who contacted the Police Public Relation Officer (PPRO), Frank Mba, who intervened and the reporter was promptly released. Our reporter was let off the hook after one of the Uzowurus (Anita’s family) entered a ‘report’ into the police station diary that he was in the police station to report ‘an intruder’ at his niece’s wedding. The address and other particulars of the reporter were also recorded.

Naija women too like money :D

Wednesday, 29 April 2009

Voice Recording Meme

Sorry o, I've been very busy! Here is my meme!

CB's Meme Voice Recording

Sunday, 26 April 2009

Party Dey O

House party/rave yesterday night.

Loud Music.

Dancing. (A bit too raunchy)

Darkness EVERYWHERE! (Swear down swear down)



Fine girls.

Fine boys.




Ogling Boys.

Chasing. (Haba, na by force?)

Waist Grabbing. (You see how guys will slyly just appear from nowhere and then you suddenly feel one presence descending on your backside)



Pure Jokes.

One random Chinese boy. (Huh?)

A wise teenage girl once said 'swagger doesn't mean matching your trainer laces with your  shirt'. 

Must EVERY picture get on to facebook? Mehn.

Ps, I said I'd post the meme on this post but I've actually done a voice recording for it so that'll be my next post, promise.

Ok, off to church now. (Where's my bible?)

Friday, 24 April 2009

Too Deep In The Spirit?

I find it incredibly annoying when people are tooooo spiritual. As much as one ought to be ‘correct’ in their faith, close to their God etc excitement takes them a bit over the top from time to time. My mum is all too fond of this, even to the point where you sometimes can’t even have simple conversations with her without her bringing the Holy Spirit into it, everything must be linked to religion, religion and more religion. Her intimacy with God is truly a wonderful thing, don’t get me wrong, but when we are talking in the ‘physical’, sometimes the constant links to the Holy Spirit etc are not necessary.

For instance, I was at my cousin’s house, all of them are quite old, as in their ages range from 23-31, we were shocked when K (the 31 year old) said that he was 31, he looked much younger, my parents then started talking about marriage to him and asking when he plans to get hitched and what not. Then the topic of discussion turned to O (one of the daughters, she was not among us at the time) and when she would get married. They started talking in Yoruba and there were a few things I was not able to pick up. I then asked my mum later on if O had gotten a fiancĂ© yet.

Me: Mummy, has O gotten a fiancé yet?

Mum: Yes, by the Grace of God.

Me: No I mean has anybody actually seen him before?

Mum: We will all see him soon, in Jesus name.

Me: Yeah I know that, amen and all but I’m talking in earthly terms here, is there actually any physical evidence of him? I mean, has O even met him yet?

Mum: By the Grace of God.

Me: Sigh.

That’s just a summary of what happened, by this time I was fed up with trying to bring her down to earth. Don’t get me wrong o, indeed by the grace of God and in Jesus name, O will get the husband she desires, but for goodness sake…

Tagged by the sweet Rambling Naija Babe for a meme, that will be my next post ;)

Thursday, 23 April 2009

Amebo Radio: Nigerian Criminal Gang Members Arrested

This is CB reporting live on Amebo Radio news report station where we have just received out braking information on the arrest of two notorious criminals who are part of a disreputable gang roaming the streets of Nigeria and on occasions, Ghana. 

These group of people are a terrible and dangerous threat to the African society, the sooner they are caught, the better. The two captured members are currently being detained by the police force and will await their trials. The two detained have been named as one Monalisa Chinda and Uche Ogbodo, both regular abusers of the ‘Stop Putting on That Stupid American Accent’ law which came into act in 1997 in Nollywood set by Nollywood's government leaders. 

Such breeches of law will earn both detained a befittingly deserved punishment so as to penalize the them for their unlawful felonies. The police are aware that a number of members of the notorious gang are still on the loose   and still creating havoc for the very innocent Nollywood movie viewers who are traumatized after viewing and hearing such poor pronunciation and treatment of words. 

A number of suspects are said to go by the names of Stephanie Okereke, Nadia Buari, Pat Attah, Tonto Dike and Jim Iyke who police investigations have come to find may be the ring leader who’s phonetic offences proved so ghastly, an old woman ended up in hospital with severe ear burn after watching one of his latest movies, ‘Dream Maker’. The old woman's family have said to have filed a law suit against the directors of the film. Our sympathy goes out to her.

A reward of a life time supply of agege bread is said to be available for whoever is able to assist police with any information leading to the arrest of the remaining members of the criminal gang, plus 2 bottles of cold stout if the ring leader is caught.

Thank you for listening to Amebo Radio’s latest news report.

Next week’s topic of discussion, ‘The Trials and Tribulations of a Nollywood Actresses Weave’

Wednesday, 22 April 2009

The Virgin Whore

There was a quote about this, something about men wanting a virgin whore, I can't find the damn quote (google you fall my hand o). You know how 'cool intellectual' quotes somehow make a blog look more, well cool, especially when italicced.

I strongly believe that whoever came up with that quote is someone who knows me very well, either that or I have a creative stalker, whichever. The point I'm getting at is that I could go on and on about how I refuse to lose my virginity until I get married, argue endlessly in debates over the topic, shit, I even have a book coming out about it, I kid I kid but the constant circle of thoughts within my mind are a complete contrast to my rants. I can honestly hold my head up high and say that I think about sex daily, it's like an everlasting drug (body no be wood biko). Heck, I probably know a damn load more about the thing than those who have indulged in the popping of cherries and yet, I may sometimes come across as a clueless virgin, sometimes.

I must sound confused. Do I sound confused?

I am an observer, skilled if I might say so myself, seeing but never actually doing, not until the 'right' time anyway.

Tuesday, 21 April 2009

The Examiner

I was thinking, about examinations etc, not neccesarily about the process of actually studying for them and then taking the exam (although obviously such processes play a major role, duh), but the process of actually marking the papers.

I know for a fact that many examiners actually take the piss when marking some papers, not that they necessarily have anything against the person who wrote the paper (although this can sometimes be the case) but maybe they’re just being lazy about it, or were ‘abit tired’ that day, poor them.

Such takers of piss seem to not get the fact that they actually have somebody’s life in their hands, literally, as in say for example Obinna had just written his exam, prepartions for this paper caused many sleepless nights, high amount of stress and a big fat bucket of sweat and blood, the grade he gets for the exam determines his future, his bloody future and poor old Mr Whatever can’t be bothered to mark the paper properly, or maybe Obinna is dating Mishope who happens to be in Mr Whatever’s Mathematics class.

Mr Whatever is dying for this babe but she refuses to accept his pervy proposals, how dare she, He now inconsiderately takes out his bitterness on none other than Obinna, that should do the trick!


It’s not even the case that I’m upset with things like this, it’s more of a feeling of annoyance that some people could be so selfish as to jeopardise somebody’s future and based on the most flimsy and pathetic excuses. Like seriously are there not enough willing prostitutes out there for you to linger on to rather than the disturbing the peace of the Obinna’s and Mishope’s of this world.

Yeah I have exams coming up.

Monday, 20 April 2009

Sugar Kini Kan

Approached by one 'Sugar Daddy', have they no shame? One old rickety thing like that.

CB is walking innocently down the street.

A car pulls up.

CB is like ok.

Man old enough to be her dad sticks his head out of the window. (Agbaya!)

CB carries on walking.

Old thing trails CB with his car.

CB stops and stares.

Old thing tells CB that he has seen her a few times in this area and gives the usual crap of wanting to get to know her. (Tell that to the goats son)

CB is cracking up in her head but keeps a straight face, just managing to say 'Urrgh'.

Old thing asks CB for her number and even has the cheek to bring out his phone.

CB acting like a retard is still standing there saying 'Urrgh'.

Old thing is smiling.

CB tells Old thing that she needs to go somewhere and runs. (Run ke)

CB is now saying 'Chineke'.

Sunday, 19 April 2009

Not The Same

Really drifting away from this guy.

Things just aren't working for me.

Don't want him to get angry when I eventually set him straight.

Last time was a disaster.

Things were said and done that were regretted later on, figures.

But a girl's gotta do what she gotta do.

I'm talking in riddles, I know.

Wednesday, 15 April 2009

Naija Music And Taggings!

Naija music in general is really impressing me and I have no doubt will continue to do so, massively massive transformations occuring. The past times of Danfo Drivers, Tony Tetuila and Eedris kini kan have long expired, amusing times but like they say, the most constant thing in life is change.

Even the music videos sef, some of them, great improvements, especially compared to the past common use of powerpoint features (you kidding me?). Naija, carrying on with the stepping up of the game o, I salute you.

Tagged by the lovely Cidersweet

The rules;*use the first letter of your name to answer each of the following questions.*they have to be real....nothing made up! if the person before you had the same first initial, you must use different answers.*you cannot use any word twice and you cant use your name for the boy/girl question.*dont google youranswers.*make it as interesting and fun as you can.

1. What is your name: Cappuccine

2. A four letter word: Cake

3. A boy's name: Chris

4. A girl's name: Chi Chi

5. An occupation: Carpenter

6. A color: Cream

7. Something you'll wear: Clothes (Hehehe)

8. A food: Carrots

9. Something found in the bathroom: Cream

10. A place: China

11. A reason for being late: Caught up in traffic

12. Something you'd shout: Chai

13. A movie title: Catch me if you can

14. Something you'd drink: Cappuccino!

15. A musical group: Coldplay

16. An animal: Chicken

17. A street name: Ching Chang Chong Street

18. A type of car: Citron

19. The title of a song: Cherry Lips

I tag BSNC, Danny, Roc, MissFlyHigh and MissLove

That Thing Called Marriage

So attitudes towards marriage have definitely changed, like you didn't know. Back in the days, it was all about graduating and then the race towards finding that perfect husband begins, ready, set go! Against some mean competitors I must say.

Such races still occur but not as much, catching my drift? As in women are now more focused on careers, the sultrybusiness suit and oversized handbags have long overidden the famous diamond wedding ring and the big yummy cake. Some don’t even want to get married, the mere mention of it throws them into some of the biggest rants known to mankind.

What was that words again? Yeah, cohabitation seems to be newest fad of the modern times, I guess it’s just a personal thing. A friend of mine said she did not want to get married, fair enough, her excuse was that ‘it’s too expensive’, swear to God I laughed for a whole week.

Maybe she's just too old fashioned, or maybe it’s just the fact that growing up, past and current, my mother made it part of her duty to drum the whole marriage thing into my head, where’s the panadol when you need it? Especially coming from a Nigerian home, I swear, a woman past thirty and still unmarried must hold onto any man that comes her way, expired milk is a popular term. Folks really need to wake up and smell the coffee, biko.

I want to get married, no shit, I just believe in terms of the future, I will pursue my career before jumping into the marriage wagon, can’t always just depend on a man, no offence dudes, I love you but....

Though the only way I’ll get a chance to...crude word approaching...fuck is if I get married, yours truly is a ‘no sex before marriage kind of lass’.

Laughing my frigging ass off.

Tuesday, 14 April 2009

'True Love'

Yesterday whilst braiding my hair (such a long time), tuned into my usual 'Nollywood mode' where my eyes were fixated on nothing else but the screen before me. Interesting film, unsuprisingly a love flick, gratefully not starring Desmond Eliott and/or Ramsey Noah, we give God the glory (Sorry, but their faces are just becoming too frequent).

Basically guy and girl in love in village, guy leaves for youth service, girl promises to wait but doesn't, youth service guy comes back and finds out the chick has dumped his ass, guy is 'mourning', guy now 'hates' women, friend of guy persuades guy to 'get over it already' and find a new babe, guy is reluctant but finds new babe, new bitch oops I mean babe is a golddigger (yeah, guy is rich now), guy loves new babe but wants to find out if new babe loves him or his thick pockets, guy pulls 'trick' pretending to lose job, house etc, new babe leaves (gosh, too easy) but new babe has friend who is nice, new babe's friend comforts 'poor' guy when he 'needs it most' (basically friend aint no golddigger), guy realises this and falls for new babe's friend vice versa, new babe (the ex now) finds another mugu to leech onto, new babe is actually mugu because new guy is actually a 419er, new babe does not know (hehehehehehe), 419er gets caught, new babe is all 'egba mi o' (nah, film wasn't yoruba just added that in for extra effect, sue me), first girl that left youth service guy appears, hubby has been mistreating her, left her with baby for another woman, husbandless girl now living in village with baby, youth service guy just suddenly out of the blue 'bumps into her' (nollywood eh), asks her why she left him, she says nothing, he has forgiven her but too bad now he has his own chick. other guy with new babe's friend tells new babe's friend about his 'trick', new babe's friend faints and they live 'happily ever after'.


Sooo, guys and girls, would you do such a thing to find your so called 'true love'? Doesn't need to be exactly what youth guy did but maybe something along such lines (guy pretends to be poor/ girl pretends to be pregnant etc etc).

I guess some people have just got to do what they've got to do, finding good partner, e no easy o.

Ps, any 'Motunrayo' fans out there? My imagination seems to have gone on a lil' vacation, will be back soon, hopefully.

Saturday, 11 April 2009

Insert Post Title Here

I sometimes look back and think of all the stupid things I've done in the past and think to myself, 'shit', like not even in a cringey way, but the sort of way that makes you realise how much more of an idiot you are. I've put myself through alot and so uneccesarily, I'm like the foolish rebel, if that even makes sense.

Ok, now I'm off to go and eat suya.

Saturday, 4 April 2009

Motunrayo (Part 3)

The next night, whilst laying on her mat, Akin was busy sulking outside by the side of the hut, distraught by the death of his baby and angry at his wife. He had concluded that it was Motunrayo’s plan all along to get him angry so that he would beat her and by doing so, kill the child. Without a baby in her stomach, she would have an excellent opportunity to run, not only from him but the village. He became even more livid at the end of his conclusion, what a ‘clever’ and devious girl she was.

Akin entered his hut, making his way towards Motunrayo who appeared to be deep in sleep. He lay beside her and tapped her gently on the shoulder. Refusing to wake up, he tapped her continuously until she finally lifted herself.

Annoyed at the disruption, she asked him if he knew what time it was and warned him to leave her alone, laying her head back down on the mat whilst doing so. Akin told her to get up and that he wanted to make love to her as to make up for the loss of the baby. Up and alert by his request, Motunrayo pleaded with him to leave her alone.

Akin told her that he could not do such a thing, that in order to consummate the marriage, they must sleep together. She reminded him that he had already slept with her before and without her consent, her persistent pleads did not seem to get through to him.

Akin also reminded her that he was her husband and that it was his right to sleep with her. He told her that he did not want to hurt her. Motunrayo knew she would not be able to stand against him, forced to oblige, she gave in and he made love to her.

A few months down the line, Motunrayo found out she was pregnant, Akin was overjoyed.


Friday, 3 April 2009

Motunrayo (Part 2)

Motunrayo knew no joy ever since that fateful day. After much taunting and pleading from her parents, she was forced to marry Akin. Though aware of her unfortunate ordeal, they still insisted on her marrying him. She was pregnant and that was all there was to it, it was also made intensively clear that the secret of her rape was to remain undisclosed at all costs, as if it did not, such an event would bring great shame onto the family name and Baba Motunrayo refused to allow his name be rubbed into the dirt.

Motunrayo was absolutely devastated at the lack of sympathy her family showed, annoyed at both their ignorance and unfairness. Her family had betrayed her.

Akin knew that his plan would work. It came as no surprise when he was called by the Adeyemo’s to collect his wife, he was delighted. The people of Ojo Village were stunned at the sudden marriage announcement, it did not seem like innocent Motunrayo to go for such a person to settle down with, little did they know.

On numerous occasions, Akin had tried to get her to understand his intentions but Motunrayo refused to hear. She did not see him as a husband but rather, a monster, but 4 months pregnant and carrying his child, she had no other choice. Akin provided for her to the best of his abilities, he was not necessarily a bad man but like many, contained habits that needed to be controlled, especially when it came to Motunrayo.

There was never a day without an argument, whether small or big, Akin and Motunrayo had always managed to quarrel. Her sharp tongue and lack of respect for him angered him to no bound. Akin had always restrained himself from beating her as he did not want to harm his baby, that is, until one day, Motunrayo stretched him beyond his limits. He beat her severely causing her to lose the baby.

Akin was devastated and blamed Motunrayo for the death of the baby.

The next night, whilst laying on her mat….


Thursday, 2 April 2009

Motunrayo (Part 1)

Akin was a very strong man, young but fearless. He possessed the strength of a lion and the wisdom of an owl. As much as Akin was tough he was also very stubborn and quick to anger. He had once killed a snake with his bare hands. He seemed to always get his way.

Akin lived alone in a hut left to him by his late parents in the village where he was brought up. Left as an only child to fend for himself, he was used to being alone. He very much preferred it that way. Tall and very handsome, adored by many girls in the village he was. But to the elders, Akin was as an outcast, both his parents had died mysterious deaths and that was enough to cause the ignorant minds of the villagers into believing that he was the cause. Foolish people he thought.

One day, whilst eating kolanut by the side of his hut, Akin spotted a girl walking through the bushes, she was carrying a bucket, probably to fetch water he thought. He recognized her instantly, that long hair, that body, that beautiful face, it was Motunrayo. He had lusted after this girl ever since the day he laid his eyes on her but the she had rejected him the many times he had attempted to woo her.

He wanted her as his wife but refused to plead with her. He believed that men should never have to beg , especially a woman. Akin stood up and followed her.

After fetching the water, Motunrayo , tired and hot laid down next to the stream, she wanted to relax before making her way back home to prepare her family’s meal. Suddenly, Akin appeared in front of her, shocked by the sudden intruder, Motunrayo briskly stood to her feet. She recognized Akin immediately and wondered what he was doing.

Akin greeted her and asked how she was, she replied him but her failure to return the question annoyed him. Motunrayo lifted her bucket when he asked her when she was planning to finally accept his andproposal adding that her that her stubbornness was getting too much.

She ignored his comment told him that she did not plan on marrying him. When he asked her why, she shrugged her shoulders and adjusted her oshuka. Akin could not stand anymore rejection from her, her refusal to oblige angered him. Aware of his mood, Motunrayo carefully laid it the bucket on her oshuka and began to walk away but he pushed her down causing the bucket to fall. Akin tore off her wrapper and raped her, her cries were hushed by the sound of the noisy stream.

Akin believed that this was the only way for them to be together. If he succeeded in getting her pregnant, knowing the shame it would bring to her entire family if she gave birth out of wedlock, her family would be forced to hand her over to him in marriage, it was the only way.


Tuesday, 31 March 2009

How Annoying

I am utterly disgusted with a new law that will make it illegal for women to refuse their husbands sex, leave the house without their husband’s permission and can only seek work, education or visit the doctor with their husbands' permission.

This act of idiocy and complete ignorance will take part in none other than Afghanistan. In my opinion, there is no other person that could come up with such rules asides a lunatic, medical help is indeed needed for such fools and I’m guessing that those coming up with such bullshit are men, lucky for them they don’t need to consult their husbands before going to visit a psychiatrist, I guess that’s one positive thing to say.

This is obviously just a sly way to legalize marital rape. I’m amazed but then again, that doesn’t neccessarily mean I’m surprised, typical. Plus to think that someone is using such a law to boost his votes for an election.

(P.s This isn't a rant at men, I love you guys and know you are not all like this teeheehee)

Hamid Karzai has been accused of trying to win votes in Afghanistan's presidential election by backing a law the UN says legalises rape within marriage and bans wives from stepping outside their homes without their husbands' permission.
The Afghan president signed the law earlier this month, despite condemnation by
human rights activists and some MPs that it flouts the constitution's equal rights provisions.

Jon Boone reveals Afghanistan's new law denying women's rights
Link to this audio
The final document has not been published, but the law is believed to contain articles that rule women cannot leave the house without their husbands' permission, that they can only seek work, education or visit the doctor with their husbands' permission, and that they cannot refuse their husband sex.

A briefing document prepared by the United Nations Development Fund for Women also warns that the law grants custody of children to fathers and grandfathers only.

Sunday, 29 March 2009

The Nation's Favourite Fruit

Curiosity is one of the permanent and certain characteristics of a vigorous mind.

Na so?

My 8 year old brother asked me what a boner is...Awkward. I told him it's a type of fruit, close enough. Thought he had fallen for it but then a little bird told me that he had gone to get a more 'advanced' definition from none other than parents. 'Boner' is a more slangificated way of saying erection alie? My parents obviously aren't in with the 'modern cool' enough for them to actually understand what he meant. We thank God.


This coming saturday, some friends have prepared a suprise birthday for a friend and the theme will be 'African Swagger' (This swagger word is being thrown around too much nowadays haba, I know I'm guilty sha), they were taking the piss out of me telling me I should not turn up in head tie and sandals, you know, the bush kind....oloshious.

Gotta love them gladiator sandals *Big Grin*

Saturday, 28 March 2009

Social Deviances *Gasp*

DEVIANCE is defined as any behaviour that violates or goes against social norms.

If a behaviour causes people to stare or feel disgusted it indicates that the behaviour is breaking a social norm.

I was thinking, you know those places that you know that you are not supposed to enter, e.g say a teacher's staff room where every student is forbidden from entering. Wouldn't it be quite funny if say during school lunch or break time, I went and just randomly walked into and sat with my legs up in the staffroom with a sandwhich or something, amongst the teachers like it was nothing, hehehe, what would be their responses?

Funny social deviances:

1. Scenario: You are on the bus, seated next a stranger, someone you have never seen or met before, the stranger is eating a bag of chips, you reach over, take one of his/her chips, eat it, act like nothing happened and stare on.

2. Scenario: You're in the church, mosque or whatever, everyone is silent as the pastor is praying, everyone's head bent down, eyes closed and then you burp, LOUDLY and LONG even though you knew you could hold it in, you then bend your head back down and carry on with the prayer.

3. Scenario: Picking your nose, flicking the 'treasure' you found into the air and laughing during an important job interview.

4. Scenario: You are a female english teacher at an all boys secondary school. The weather is extremely hot, you go to work in hot pants and a bikini top.

5. Scenario: You get to meet Obama face to face, upon greeting him rather than being normal greeting him with a handshake you squeeze his left butt cheek and act like nothing happened. (Lol, ok, I got a bit excited with this one :D)

Hehehe, I have more but I wouldn'r want to disgust you folks any further.

So there's this girl band from the east in Nigeria, not bad not bad at all. Infact, I have 3 favourites from their songs, 'Mu Na Gi', 'Dangerous' and 'Okpomekwe (Remix), their igbo sounds so so sweet. The only problem I have is their stage name, haba, why name yourselves 'Desperate Chicks'? I don't understand.

Here are some links for your delight:

Mu Na Gi
Okpomekwe (Remix)

Friday, 27 March 2009

Honest Scrap 'Meme' and Weird Fads

Noticed a new 'fad' amongst many youths living in naija, especially Lagos. That checkered scarf that everyone seems to be wearing around, you know the one I'm on about? But why? Not that it doesn't look nice, but in the hot boiling sun? How many degrees again? Oma se o. I asked one paddy of mine about this new madness and he could not even provide an answer to my question, he was too busy laughing because he himself does it. Wonders shall never end.

Me: please, there is a VERY important question I wish to ask *confused emoticon*
Him: ask
Me: Concerning naija youths
Him: *confused emoticon*
Him: *confused emoticon*
Me: and this sudden rise of wearing scarves in the hot boiling sun
Me: Is it a new game?
Me: Who can sweat the most? *confused emoticon*
Him: *ROFLMAO emoticon*
Him: *ROFLMAO emoticon*
Him: *ROFLMAO emoticon*
Me: *confused emoticon*
Him: *ROFLMAO emoticon*

Yours truly has been tagged by the oh so lovely BSNC. Honest scrap meme, I think I need to be honest about myself or something?

11 honest things about me:
1. I am weird, like an indescribable weirdness that even me sef the holder of such 'weirdness' cannot even explain.

2. I love the smell of nail polish, drying paint, tipex etc damn it's like a drug, I could actually sniff it all day.

3. I am very impatient as in hate waiting for stuff, I want what I want right here and right now, don't get me wrong I'm not spoilt.

4. I love laughing, my sense of humour is totally out of this world.

5. Almost all my online friends don't believe me when I say this but I am actually VERY shy in real life, ok ok most of the time, it just depends who I'm with.

6. I've been told that I am very elusive when it comes to relationships.

7. I once went to school without wearing a bra out of pure laziness, at first I forgot to put one on, but then when I finally realised and even had the oportunity to put it on I really couldn't be bothered, needless to say it was like there was a party going on underneath my top, I learnt my lesson after the day.

8. To me, Yoruba is the most sexiest language that exists, followed by Hausa (Only started thinking that recently).

9. I dislike rain.

10. I don't like alcohol. (Don't understand this whole fad of going out to get drunk)

11. I think I'm in love.

So who do I tag? Solo, Maiden In Abuja, Danny (I doubt he'll do it again lol), ibiluv

Wednesday, 25 March 2009

Good or Bad?

Is it a good idea to work with your spouse? I ask this because my current form tutor recently got married to my old maths teacher. At first, I was like, what on earth do they see in each other, as in to me they seem like the complete opposite to each other (please don’t give me that ‘opposite’s attract bullcrap’), but then I realised they do share a few common things personality wise, yes of course. They are both annoyingly annoying (does that make sense?) plus they both get the fudge on my nerves. But then again, I guess everyone deserves to be happy and thus I am putting away my grudges and wishing them a happy married life.

I came across this.

The idea of working with your spouse is good in that it helps couples to understand their partners more. Working together would help couples to have more time to see each other thereby keeping the bond intact. If you work with your spouse, there would be no room for doubts and distrust which would make the relationship better and stronger. Couples would have more bonding together which would make them have more time to talk and help each other when the need arises.

I think it's a great idea working with your spouse. For one thing, you and your spouse will have more time together plus there is always time to talk about issues regarding work. If problems occur regarding work, then both of you could talk about it and give a solution to whatever that problem is. Working together would help both spouse to understand more about their partners as you will be working very closely together. It would be good for both of you as you will be exchanging ideas that would help you both grow and have better achievements in work as well as your relationship as husband and wife.

No matter how much you love your spouse, there are many reasons that working together is not a good idea. There's no one who can better explain the reasons than an employee at a company owned by a husband and wife team! All the good intentions in the world cannot prevent the stress that occurs when a husband and wife work together, most of which gets transferred along to the rest of the company. Owning and operating a company should never be about personal relations. With a spouse on board, it is simply unavoidable that the personal and professional will mix, and when things go badly, a new dimension of tension gets added to the fray. The best way to support a spouse is to do it from the sidelines.

Among several problems thar arise when a husband and wife work together is: Who's in command? Even when one spouse is clearly the boss, and the other the worker, simply from the nature of the relationship, this can never be a traditional work relationship. The spouse/employee always has a privileged access to the boss and a superior status to the other workers, who can never work around that relationship. If the employee spouse says something contrary to the boss spouse, workers are unsure whom to follow. Who really has power? In fact, both do, even when one spouse is the boss, and the other is not.

When two spouses work together and have conflicts, the personal invades the workspace. Nothing is worse for the workplace environment that two feuding spouses. It's the equivalent of "mom and dad fighting" as one worker expressed it. The couple is stressed, and the rest of the company's employees are forced to walk on egg shells until the conflict is resolved. When things are finally smoothed over, the company employees may not even realize it.

Day-to-day workplace gossip reaches new heights when a couple runs a business. Every personal tidbit becomes fodder for the gossip mill. Employees don't know how to approach the couple in a comfortable way. Each spouse must decide how much or how little to share that their own spouse may not want the employees to know. Revealed information cannot be taken back, and secrets revealed may lead to additional conflict.

I think, no wait, I KNOW I agree with the anti response, so what’s your take on this?

Tuesday, 24 March 2009

Religion And Older Men

My second post for today, currently in class and bored, yes I've completed my work.

So I think I’m back to blogging like eveyday, for now anyway, I guess it’s sort of like weed, you get high off it but then it starts to wear off. I don’t smoke igbo (weed) gbeborun’s, it aint where the 'cool's' at.

Trying to find myself when it comes to religion. As much as I go to church, conventions etc. I just realised that I am only in this religion (Christianity) because of my upbringing, parents etc, not that I have taken it upon myself to actually read upon and understand it myself.

So that’s exactly what I’m going to do, soon. I don’t even have my own bible anymore, MY OWN. My mum found herself when she was young, she was brought up as muslim because of her father as most typical northerners would do, yet at the same time, read the bible, she was interested in Christianity and soon enough she converted, not just because of the influence of my dad when she met him but because she believed in it and understood and now she values it.

Many people really need to ask themselves, do they really understand/believe in their religion? Or Is it just another case of mummy and daddy taking us to church, mosque etc when we were children and so then we just shrugged and went along with it without actually knowing what we were getting ourselves into.

Ok enough of the religion talk.

Ladies, what do you think about dating older guys, I mean OOOOLLLLDDDDEEEERRRR guys. At first, I was kind of iffy about such large gaps but now…


Olodo International

I feel that I should continue on with my 'JP' stories but it seems as though paddy mi omo laziness has had a huge impact on your's truly, or did I mention that already in my previous post?

Oh by the way, I didn't mention this before but before actually typing them up onto blogger, I would usually hand write some of the parts to the story, those who have read them know there is a section where I added a bit of boolala just for the maggi cube effect, this was ages ago but I hand write that part first before typing it up and cappuccinebaby with her good head went and left the paper on the ironing board at home for like 5 minutes.

My dad saw it when I had popped downstairs, must have thought it was a school assignment or something and went along to read it.

Now you get the title of my post?

See my life o.

Monday, 23 March 2009

Mrs Ikebe And The Ex

Sorry readers, been so lazy, remember the days when I used to blog every single day, infact, sometimes even two posts a day, ndo o, ndo! So what has been happening? I have this sort of infatuation for big bottoms, or as they say, ‘Idi nla’, 'Azuka’ ectera ectera, oh please, I’m not gay or whatever word you want to come up with, I just seem to stare intently whenever I see a big yansh in a sort of ‘wooooow’ entrancement, like you’re carrying your own mini person on your back.

Like for instance, yesterday, I was in church, can’t remember if it was during praise and worship or the preaching but one girl kept walking up and down the aisle and what caught me was not only her big yansh, but the way it moved under her skirt, like it was doing a dance of some sort, wibbly wobbly wibbly wobbly, up and down, round and round. A friend of mine noticed as well, a girl, we were totally gobsmacked, oh the many wonders of the human body.

Another thing, 2Face’s ‘new’ song, ok well it isn’t new anymore so I’ll say his ‘newest’ song. I really can’t stand it, ironic how his best video ended up being his worst song, in my opinion anyway.

One forum I often visit, there was this thread titled ‘Why Do Girls Fall For Sex Easily With Their Ex’. How true is that sha? As in, I was talking with one friend I have not seen In a while on the phone yesterday and the conversation turned to her ex, I’ve blogged about them at some point remember, I think the post was titled ‘Psycho’, you know, another one of those psychotic boyfriends who want to know your every move, threaten you, lock you in their house when you insist on leaving (in her case) and so on and so forth, you get the picture. So we were talking, apparently he’s always calling her and texting her, infact, during the process of us gisting, he text her about three times, she seemed annoyed and I asked her what he was texting, she then told me that he wanted her to come over to his house (he lives alone).

I laughed when she told me, telling her that he must be crazy and also as a joke, I asked her if she has been to his house since the breakup and she said yes. Ooook, I then asked her if she had slept with him since the breakup, she replied yes again. This girl is seriously digging her own grave sha, I asked her why and she told me ‘it just happened’, not even just once but on countless occasions, Oooook o! I don’t know o, their ‘relationship’ is plain crazy. Anyways sha, there’s that saying about the forbidden fruit tasting sweeter, or so they say, hmmph.

Thursday, 5 March 2009

True Love

Once upon a time a bird fell in love with a white rose. One day he (bird) proposed to her (white rose), but white rose refused. White rose said I don't love you. Bird daily came and proposed to her. Finally, white rose said when I will turn red, I will love you. One day bird came and cut his wings and spread his blood on the rose and the rose turned red. Then the rose realized how much bird loved her but it was too late because bird was dead. So respect the love and feelings of the person who loves you.

Monday, 16 February 2009

Who Likes To Play Games?

On the phone, giggling away, the usual chit chatter. He tells me to play a game with him, I'm like huh? A game he says, what kind of game? I ask, he tells me not to worry that I should just follow his 'orders', so I'm like ok o.

He then asks me if I have access to a big mirror, one where I can see myself fully, by golly I do, so the game begins. Oh yes, I must also lock my room door he tells me, ok, done. Ok first I am to remove my top, I'm like what the? He's like, just do it, ok so I did it.

Top is removed, now my bottoms,then my bra, you know how the rest goes. Ok so I'm standing there like stark naked, ok hunny what next? He tells me to stand in front of the mirror, ok I'm doing that, now what? He now tells me 'that's it', I'm like huh? Then he bursts out laughing.

Chai, I have been fooled, of course I promise to get him back, he's just laughing his ass off. Naughty Boy.

Point of the game was to make the victim (me) feel stupid and damnnit he succeded.

Sunday, 15 February 2009

In Trouble With 'The Guy'

He doesn't really like me drinking coffee, I just can't seem to stay away from the stuff though. Another thing, you know those times when you promise to do something but you don't actually do it, yes, I've gotten myself in that kind of mess, oops.

Saturday, 14 February 2009

Valentines Day My Ass, Literally

For Nigerians, Lovers' Day is about money and sex. It is a grand ritual of deception. It is all about men and women looking for romantic dalliances; reckless dalliance of a thousand degrees, sex and more sex. Biology gone berserk. Valentine's Day 2009, in many Western capitals is being seen in relation to how lovers and couples will respond to the global economic pinch. Projections in many Western countries indicate a sharp drop in Valentine spending. Relationships could be threatened as lovers try to save costs. In Nigeria, I wager the bet that in Lagos where the Valentine craze is most felt, there'd be a near-commotion on the streets. In matters of sex, Nigerians are less circumspect.

Sunday, 25 January 2009

I Don't Like Rich Boys

Lol, how wrong does that sound. I don't know why, but I have this thing for rough edge boys, you know, something like a village boy with potential. Not from the most wealthy background but obviously he would bring himself up sooner or later to a good financial standard. Yes o, all these silver spoon rich boys seem to wimpy for me jor, the rags to riches story is so damn sexy, dontcha think?

Friday, 16 January 2009

Mr. Moan

No not moan in the sense that he complains alot, I mean moan in a sexual way, bleh. So I met this guy quite some time ago, I think I blogged about him at some point. Anyway sha, like the doofus that I am, I gave him my number even though I had no intentions of getting down with him whatsoever, foolish abi? Abeg, free me jor! Anyway sha, that was like last year, around september october ish, yeah.

Never picked his calls etc etc and then eventually, the heat went down, as in, I was not getting any calls or anything from him, phew! Some months down the line, december ish, I get one call from a private number, it's Mr. Moan, wow, is he serious? After so darn long, ehen, so the chit chatting begins, he asks me 'don't I ever pick my calls', I give some lame ass excuse about how my phone is this is that and Mr. Moan falls for it.

Suddenly, the conversation starts to get a bit heated, from his side of course. Dude starts asking me all sorts of questions like 'what do I like', 'what have I done?', you know, all that ishness. I'm a good girl *wink wink* so I can't really tell him anything, he's damn suprised, apparently, he thinks I'm lying, nah, I would't lie about something like that.

Then he hops onto his own 'escapades', what he likes, what he does etc, the convo was damn sexified at this point in time, I'm on the other end of the phone kind of like 'urrrgh', then suddenly whilst telling me all this, he starts breathing weird whilst talking, as in a moaning kind of breathing, I suspect he was even wanking himself sha, though I only concluded this at the end.

I cracked up, laughed my yansh off, well, not out loud of course. Suddenly he stops with the heavy breathing and then changes the subject, yup, dude was definately wanking, he starts telling me that 'you now know who I am now' that he does not want to hide anything blah blah blah, this is the real him etc, ok o jare. So he wants to meet up again, though I have made it crystal clear that I don't want a relationship etc, he says that he just wants to be my 'friend', this guy is 26 by the way, anyway sha, we'll see how it goes.

I got tagged on one '2 truths 1 lie' thing by my paddy Danny, here goes :)
1. I pierced the middle of my ear in the work toilets because I was bored
2. I own three pet cats
3. I'm allergic to peanuts

Now I'm supposed to tag six peeps
1. Solo
2. Aloof and Far
3. 9JA's OT (If he ever comes back :()
5. Diary Of An Ex Nerd
6. Taled and Tallies (If she ever comes back :()

Thursday, 15 January 2009

This So Called 'African Timing'

You dey mad? African timing ko, nonsense of the highest order. I can't stand it, seriously lol. When you are told to be at a certain place at a certain time, BE THERE at THAT TIME. You will ask them, why are you so late? 'Na african timing na', I will african time your mouth jor. They will tell you the event starts at 2, you will just be arriving at 8, you are just not serious.

One very annoying experience, it was a friend's birthday and a bunch of us were supposed to go on an outing. We'd all meet up at 11 and then leave at say 11.45. So the majority of us were at the spot at the picked time, between 11 and 11.45. The clock strikes, there is still one more person missing, fair enough, we'll wait till twelve, maybe there is traffic or something, no problem. 12 comes, we are still waiting, nawa o, so we called her up to ask where she was and when would she be arriving, can you imagine, the girl told us that she was just preparing to get into the bath, that we should wait for her. All I could do was laugh, I don't even know why I was laughing sha, I was so annoyed. Let's get serious people, this has to be the king of all existing annoying excuses, abeg, tell me something berra jor.

My 'Jealous Partner' story, I wrote like two more parts to it but then I went and lost it, sorry o.

New year new year, so far the best year for me was 2007, I loved it! Everything was going so well for me, everything! I hated 2008, not dislike, but hate, gosh I don't even know where to start, it was just 'unlikeable'. So far 2009 has not been anything special, I just thank God that I am still alive, you see if not for his grace...Let's just hope that 2009 will be great, let's just hope.

Friday, 9 January 2009

My Good Head

Been quite some time, aint it?

Had one morbidly obese exam yesterday, smacked the questions hard and into two, I hope so anyway, results will be coming out in march. Oh yes and less I forget, happy new year! I missed you blogsville, really I did.

What do you do when you have a weird 26 year old sexaholic on your tail? This is not a rhetorical question o.

Quiz stolen from ibiluv :P

Where is your cell phone? With my bro

where is your significant other? In his house probably

Your hair color? Black

Your mother? Hausa

Your father? Yoruba

Your favourite thing? My baby!

Your dream last night? Can't remember sha

Your dream/goal? Become a succesful economist and get married to my dude

Your hobby? Sleeping, eating......

Your fear? God

Where do you want to be in 6 years? In my hubby's house

Where were you last night? At home

what you're not? Ionno jare

One of your wish list items? New phone

Where you grew up? UK

The last thing you did? Cough

Your pet? do rocks count?

Your computer? Pissing me off

Your mood? Hungry

Missing someone? YES!

Your summer? Mschew!

Love someone? God, Family, My dude, friends

Your favourite colour? Dunno

When is the last time you laughed? Some mintues ago

Last time you cried? Last year hehehehe

Are you genuine or fake? You tell me

Any vices? Procrastination

Pro life or wire hanger? Pro life

McCain or Obama? Is that a question?